Why Women Choose to Exclusively Pump Breast MilkExclusively pumping breast milk is best thought of as an alternative to formula feeding. While there are some women who decide to exclusively pump even before their babies are born, they are by far the minority. Instead, most women who exclusively pump fully intended to breastfeed and believe strongly in the benefit and value of breast milk. When confronted with difficulties or situations that make breastfeeding difficult or impossible, these women turn to the use of a breast pump to ensure their babies receive breast milk. The reasons women exclusively pump are extremely varied: the premature birth of a baby; the illness of the baby or the mother; problems with breastfeeding including such things as a poor latch, thrush, cleft palate, poor weight gain, a lack of milk (either real or perceived), and the early introduction of a bottle leading to nipple preference; and the separation of mother and baby including women who must return to work soon after the birth of their babies. It is difficult to briefly discuss the many reasons women exclusively pump, but there do tend to be some similarities in most women’s experiences. Self-preservation is an often mentioned factor in the decision to exclusively pump. New mothers are overwhelmed with emotions. Hearing your baby scream every time you try to nurse, enduring extreme pain when nursing, or having a baby who is unable to get enough milk to satisfy her can add to an already tumultuous period. Also, for women who are breastfeeding, bottle feeding to top up the baby’s intake, and then pumping to maintain or increase supply while the baby learns to breastfeed or the mother is able to resolve difficulties she is experiencing, the cycle becomes overwhelming and, even with a strong support network, can make it extremely difficult to continue for very long. Often a mother is not able to truly focus on mothering and enjoying her new baby, and instead, is solely focused on providing nourishment. Life becomes consumed with feeding the baby, which can, in and of itself, add additional stress to the situation making breastfeeding all that more challenging. The decision to exclusively pump can, for some women, bring back a balance in their lives and in their household and enable them to refocus on their babies while continuing to feed their babies breast milk. The decision to exclusively pump is not made lightly. The vast majority of women who decide to exclusively pump do work with lactation consultants before making their decision. And although pumping and bottle feeding becomes the primary method of feeding, many women also continue to work on breastfeeding and solving problems that were making it difficult to breastfeed. Yet, even though the hope of exclusive breastfeeding may still remain when a woman starts to pump, many women do get to a point where they no longer attempt to breastfeed. Many struggle with the emotions they feel as a result of not breastfeeding and not having the breastfeeding relationship they thought they would have with their baby. For many, the strong emotions felt when they do not see success breastfeeding are too difficult to continue reliving over and over again. The disappointment and frustration often prove to be difficult to cope with on a continuing basis and as a result the decision to exclusively pump is made. Working with a lactation consultant during these first few weeks of pumping is extremely important if a transition to exclusive breastfeeding is desired and an important time for lactation consultants to maintain close contact with women in order to assist them to breastfeed successfully. Perhaps the strongest motivating factor for exclusively pumping is the strong belief that breast milk is the best way of nourishing a baby. Most women who exclusively pump do not feel that formula is an option; it is something they would prefer not to feed their babies. Therefore, when they are confronted with difficulties breastfeeding (or the inability to breastfeed), and are unable to resolve the situation, they turn to what is often in their minds, the only option available to them. If the women who exlusively pump did not have this as an option, their babies would most likely be switched to formula. Exclusively pumping is a viable alternative to formula feeding. Knowledge is key, however. A breast pump will not initiate or maintain a milk supply in the same manner as a baby. Women who have been able to exclusively pump long-term tend to follow a similar set of guidelines. Support and accurate information are extremely important indicators of success for women who are exclusively pumping. While breastfeeding is undoubtedly the best method of feeding a baby, the fact remains that certain circumstances make breastfeeding difficult, and, sometimes, women decide to bottle feed. The reasons for this decision and the emotions that surround the decision are varied, but in all cases, exclusively pumping can ensure that it is breast milk in the bottle instead of formula and provide more babies with the best start possible in life. Copyright Stephanie Casemore, 2004 63 Responses to “Why Women Choose to Exclusively Pump Breast Milk” Leave a Reply |
 
 
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December 15th, 2007 at 8:50 am
i just wanted to say thank you so much for this article! My son was born 10 weeks early and spent 8 weeks in the NICU. I exclusively pumped and nursed about 2 times a day in the hospital when he was about 5 weeks old. I fully intended to exclusively breastfeed him when I was home, however, my expectations were quickly shattered! He would SCREAM when I took him to my breast. My mom and husband would try to help but nothing would work. When the lactation people would come around, he did FINE!! It was very frustrating because it was like they didn’t believe me when I said he wouldn’t nurse! I would still try nursing him and have success a handful of times, but still, nothing consistent and he would be hungry a lot sooner than if i pumped and bottlefed him. So, he is 5 1/2 months old now and I am pumping as I type!
I actually tried nursing him yesterday and did ok on one side and when he stopped sucking and swallowing I pulled him off to burp him and he SCREAMED again! Another very emotional time, reliving all the memories as to why I pump!
However, there are very few people who actually understand why someone would pump and I have gotten a lot of slack from other moms who just cant understand why I won’t nurse. There are 2 ladies at my church who both pumped for 6 months for their babies who were in the hospital! I finally found women who could sympathize.
I have been discouraged lately because my supply seems to be decreasing. My son is eating all the time!! (And we praise God for it and know that He is healthy and growing! And that is the goal of pumping!!) But I am having a hard time keeping up.
Anyway, I just found this article extremely encouraging and hopeful and it was very good for me to read it! So, thank you SO much! Your insight is more valuable than you know!
July 11th, 2008 at 6:20 am
Why has it taken me five months to find this site?!!!! I’ve been trying google searches, sure that there must be some websites on exclusively expressing - and never has this site come up! It would be great if you can try and get it to come up on more web searches. Also, I talked to a breastfeeding councillor a few times, and she obviously hadn’t seen it, or I presume she’d have told me about it!
My daughter is now 5 months old and I have been exclusively expressing since she was 10 days - she just wouldn’t feed from me and I was getting more and more stressed and upset and in pain…. I tried repeatedly for the next 3 months to reintroduce the breast, but she just screamed every time she saw it! Luckily I’ve had an excellent supply and so, despite having some formula in the house for emergencies, I’ve never had to use it! I even have about a weeks worth of feeds in the freezer…
All what you say is so true and I have found it really depressing that my daughter want drink directly from me. But my bond with her is fantastic, I think truly believe that if I had continued trying to force her onto the breast, we’d have just ended up hating each other.
Feeding solely by expressing really is an effort - but it is an option, and it would be great if it were advertised as such - so many people switch quickly to formula, without even considering expressing. I was really reluctant to move to formula, so I set myself targets.. First, I planned to express for a month. Then it was two. Then it was four. Now I know I’ll express until 6 months, and I expect that, as long as my supply continues, I’ll carry on expressing a little bit until she’s a year… Certainly if I can continue until she’s only on 2 or 3 bottles a day (7 or 8 months, I guess), then I’ll just carry on until a year….
One of the main problems with expressing is you are rather chained to the house… It’s gradually become more acceptable to breastfeed in public, but express!!! I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to whip out my breastpump in public….
Ahh, having found you I could talk forever… I don’t know any other mothers who exclusively pump, and would love to find some that I could talk to and share ideas about pumps etc with…
Thanks for this site!
April 27th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
my son was born 5 weeks early, in the nusery they started giving him a pacifier and a bottle so i tried to breastfeed and he would not latch right so i have been pumping, i get a lot although hes only 4 days old im hoping eventually he will breastfeed too
July 27th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
My son is almost three weeks old and born a week overdue. He was put on formula supplement in hospital. The first day they even told me that he was burning too much energy breastfeeding. We continued to try and we were doing fairly well until last week when he suddenly refused to latch and would scream. I’ve got an appointment with a Newman clinic mid-August but that is so, so far away. EP has been what’s kept me from screaming my frustration and sadness while my husband is away at work. I might not be able to get him to nurse on the breast but I do find small comfort knowing I’m at least giving him breast milk.
July 30th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Thank G-d for this website! My son was born fullterm but with a diagnosis of Prader-Willi syndrome which results in low muscle tone and therefore a very weak suck. We attempt nursing at least once a day, but it does not go well because breastfeeding requires greater muscle tone than does bottle feeding. He was in the NICU for two weeks, and I have been exclusively pumping my milk for him. Formula was never an option for me, so pumping my milk is what I’ve been doing. Thanks for the info!
August 6th, 2009 at 10:18 am
A lot of what I read in this article reflects how I felt the first few months of my son’s birth. I wish I could have seen this site earlier. This is great!
August 20th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
My son was born 10 weeks pemature. He is almost 7 weeks old and still in the NICU. I have been EP for him since day 3. I try to put him to my breast at least once a day right now and he seems to do fine. I have been very woried that I will not produce enough milk when he comes home, but I hang in there and keep on pumping. I recently returned to work and I pump during my lunch and prep time (I am a teacher). It is difficult, I look at it as a part time/sometimes full time job. I am glad I found this site because reading that I am not the only one out here really helps! Keep on pumping, sisters!!!
August 24th, 2009 at 9:37 am
I gave birth 2 perfectly healthy girls in the last 2 years. I pumped exclusively for 6+ months for each because nursing was just too painful. I bled alot. I had seen several LCs and all of them chalked it up to “poor latch”. Pumping has been very tedious, frustrating, and time-consuming, but I think it has been well worth it. I have had absolutely no problem with supply. (I was making over 10 ounces per session by the time my 2nd baby was 1 week old). You just have to EP consistently and frequently enough (6-8x a day), but it takes serious DEDICATION. Most people who doubted me (and there were *ALOT*) are amazed that I’ve done it. I am very proud of myself for doing this.
September 30th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
My daughter was born June 30, 09. I BF her for the first 2 days while the nursing staff would give her bottles in the nursery because she was severely jaundiced. Well after the 2nd day she started having trouble latching on.I asked the nurses to stop with the bottles, but they insisted it was necessary (and I recently found out it was NOT necessary, needless to say I will NOT being having any of my next babies in that hospital). Well she finally developed a preference for the bottle and started refusing me all together. I worked with many lactation consultants and only one could ever get her to latch and feed, and she only did it that once. Well, I was not going to give my daughter formula. Why, when nature had allowed me to produce such a perfect nectar? I was going to somehow, someway get my milk into my baby. So I started pumping. She is 3 months old now and I still pump and will until she’s a year old. I still try daily to get her to latch on. She used to scream and now she just looks at me and smiles, never latches though. She has never had a drop formula. I only produce just enough for her each day, and I know one day she’ll need a bottle of formula, but until that day comes I’m satisfied with my milk being her sole source of nutrition. It’s a wholesome, fulfilling, feeling to know this precious angel is thriving because of my milk alone. Even if it comes from a bottle.
October 4th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
I am so glad to see I am not the only one! And to see that its possible to exclusively pump for as long as 1 year…thats good to know. My baby is 6 weeks old but I never mastered the right latch-on….so plenty of sore and cracked nipples later…..I have almost decided to epump. I’ll give it one last try with a lactation consultant, but is reassuring to know that epumping can and has worked for other moms and babies.
October 5th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
I exclusively pumped for 4 months with my son and had 2 months stored in the freezer. He had problems latching on, so thats why i ended up pumping, but it did enable me to get some good nights sleep by letting him spend the night with granparents. I now have a 4 week old girl and she is fussy after every feeding. My doctor is treating it as reflux for now, but i was wondering if anyone knew anything about the babies getting too much foremilk and not enough hindmilk. I know when i pump after i have slept for 6+ hours the first that comes out is very watery and blue in color (foremilk) I was just wondering if anyone thought maybe she was getting too much foremilk! It could very well be reflux (she’s only been on the medicine for 3 days now)
October 6th, 2009 at 8:43 am
Hi Kristin,
You don’t state specifically that you are pumping for your daughter, but I assume that you are? Generally with EPing, I would not be concerned about a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance- actually the terms are really misleading. You may want to read through the article “Critical Factors in Milk Production” on this site to get a better understanding of how fat is released into milk. If you are pumping frequently enough and are removing as much milk as possible each time you pump, there shouldn’t be a problem with milk that does not have enough fat.
You are right that when you are really full- for example first thing in the morning- the milk that is first expressed will be thinner, having less fat. But as you continue to pump, the fat will begin to release into the milk and continue to increase. It is good practice to mix milk from the same session to ensure an equal distribution of fat, however, again as long as you are emptying as fully as possible when you pump, throughout the day it will all even out.
Don’t forget that most babies do go through a increased fussy period starting around 2 weeks of age, peaking at aroung 6 weeks of age, and ending usually around 3-4 months of age. While reflux is certainly possible ( my son had very severe reflux), some of the fussiness may be within this “normal”. Some things to consider are using a soother to allow your baby to continue sucking (since babies have a strong need to suck, babies who are bottle fed may need the additional stimulation of a pacifier and using a soother can sometimes help babies with reflux); wear your baby in a sling, wrap or other type of carrier (the upright position and pressure on the tummy may help to allieviate any discomfort and the motion is very soothing); try swaddling as a means of calming. I highly recommend Dr. Harvey Karp’s book, “The Happiest Baby on the Block”.
Hope that helps.
Best wishes,
Stephanie
October 13th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
Wow, glad to know that I am not alone. I have been exclusively pumping for my two daughters and always thought that I was not a good mother or something. But my daughters are flourishing now - I pumped for more than 6 months for my 1st daughter. For my youngest (just two months), she has been fed on breastmilk and she is now growing big and healthy.
November 10th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
I’m so glad I found this site. I am 34 weeks pregnant, and will be having my little girl in 4 weeks (scheduled c-section). I was just talking with someone and told them that I want to breastfeed while in the hospital, but then when we get home i want to EP. I want to breastfeed in the hospital so I get that bonding with her (this is going to be my last baby). But then I want to EP when we get home so we know how much milk shes getting, so my husband can feed her as well, and so when I go back to work 8 weeks after shes born its not a shock to her to have a bottle. The lady I spoke with rather upset me and made me feel like a horrible mother. She told me I should atleast BF for 3 weeks, thats the least I could do, because babies need atleast 3 weeks to learn how to BF correctly. I said excuse me? thats the least I could do? What do you mean by that? I will be getting the breast milk to my daughter, just in a different way. and this way my husband and my daughters grandparents can bond with her too and give me a break. I know it’s going to take alot of dedication and I have to be very self-disciplined, but this is my decision. I’m so glad I found this site because it makes me feel alot better about my decision and I know I’m not a bad mother for choosing this.
December 2nd, 2009 at 10:31 pm
My baby is 3 1/2 months old now and I have been pumping since he was two days old. I had always thought that I would BF my baby, but unfortunately was not able to. I just about went crazy the first few weeks, trying to get him to latch and feed, pumping, then supplementing with the expressed milk because he could not get enough from BF. I was lucky to get 2 consecutive hours of sleep a night, my whole life consisted of trying to get him to nurse. I finally made the decision to EP and life got so much easier. I did not have the support of anyone other than my parents and it was a very difficult time for me. I still am disappointed that I could not BF my baby, but I know that it is not about what is best for me, but what is best for my baby. We are both much happier with this arrangement, I hope to be able to continue until he is a year old, I keep telling myself I can do it for another month, and I’ve already met that goal 3 times! Thank you for the support, it’s nice to know that I’m not alone in my experience.
December 5th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
It is such a relief to find this site. My son is 4 weeks old and has had difficulty latching on. I feel that the hospital staff were partially responsible for this. As I had an emergency c-section they were taking him from me the first few nights and giving him top up formula. This resulted in him preferring the bottle. After three days of frustration and upset for me and my son I decided to pump as a temporary measure for a few weeks with the intention of getting him to feed from the breast again but as time goes on this is becoming less likely. He is a hungry baby and likes the fast flow of a bottle. It is also comforting to know how much he is drinking.
At first I couldn’t see EP lasting long term bacause of the huge commitment it requires. EP should be promoted more as an option to women when BF doesn’t work out or is not possible. When I first decided to EP I felt like a failure that BF did not work out. EP was never mentioned to me as a long term option but I am comforted to find others who have made EP work for them.
December 7th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Yes I too am glad I found this site. I am exclusively pumping and have done so when my daughter was 2 weeks old. She is only 3 weeks now. I decided to pump because I could see how much milk she was getting it made me feel better knowing she got what i thought was a decant amount. I do get a touch of the guilts for not breastfeeding her as I didn’t have any problems with latching or anything..
I just felt she wasn’t getting enough. I do however BF her every so often, Just not as much as I bottle feed her.
I just wish I didn’t feel so guilty for pumping! At least she is getting breast milk though.. Rite?
December 7th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
Stephanie, OMG! I’m so glad I stumbled upon your website today. I’m a first time mom of a full term 3 week old baby girl (she weighed 9lbs 12oz!) Since I had an unplanned c-section, my milk came in later. I was under the impression from reading various BF books and from LCs that I had to still go through the motion of BFing in order to establish milk supply. I would BF for 20-30 mins, then bottle feed formula, put baby to sleep and then pump for 15mins. This routine took a little over an hour. Then I would repeat 2 hours later, 8x/day.
Soon, I was pumping from 1 teaspoon to now about 2-3oz/session. However, I still had to bottle feed BM since daughter would suck on breast for awhile and then fall asleep, then wake up about 10 mins later crying since she didn’t get enough BM at the breast. This week I had been thinking, there’s got to be a hybrid solution. That’s when I found about about EPing! Contrary to my prior belief, it seems like women can produce enough BM via EP without having to go through Breastfeeding simulation. This will help me gain at about 4 extra hours/day by skipping the BFing part of my routine.
Yay! I feel that this is the right balance for me. I actually like pumping. Besides, knowing how much BM my daughter is drinking, I have been using my pumping time to surf the internet, do online shopping, write out thank you and Xmas cards. Pump on! I’ve got to tell my hospital that they need to discuss EPing as an option.
December 9th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Karen - you just summed it up PERFECTLY re: our situation as well. We tried everything to get him to latch - hospital LC, private LC, SnS, nipple shields etc, with no luck.
It was actually a relief when I made the decision to EP. I dreaded feeding time, the screaming when he couldnt get milk fast enough etc etc. In the end, it was the best decision for our little family.
Its still seriously hard work EP but I’ve made two months and intend to continue as long as my supply will let me.
December 16th, 2009 at 5:11 am
Hello again! I left a message a couple weeks ago when I was still pregnant. Baby is now here. She is a week old now. I just wanted to share that my EP’ing is going very well. I tried to get her to latch on in the hospital after she was born and she just wouldn’t latch. It turned out, about 36 hours after she was born, she was having fast breathing and chest retractions, so they did a chest x-ray and found out she had pneumonia. She inhaled some fluids during/after the c-section. They had her in the nursery on machines for about 24 hours. When she got back to our room, I eventually got her to latch on with alot of help, shields, nurses helping me, we tried everything and she latched on for a few minutes and nursed, but I dont know if she got very much, and it was frustrating and she was hungry. I think she was just having a hard time at first because of her breathing and we just didn’t know it then. But after her breathing was better I still had a hard time, so I think EP’ing would have been the best option anyway, even if I hadn’t pre-planned it. So while she was on oxygen in the nursery I pumped and did little by little. Its very discouraging at first, because you literally only get a couple drops at first. I had to measure and log it by mL’s. Now, I am pumping every 3-4 hours and I get about 5-7 ounces every time. I have about 4- 8 oz bottles in the fridge right now, just waiting for her, and I’ll start freezing soon. If anyone has advice on freezing the milk, I’d be very appreciative if you’d share. I don’t know what’s the best way, or most efficient way to do that. and I dont know how to thaw it out and use it after its frozen. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for this website. This website gave me the last boost of confidence I needed before I had her. I think this site has a HUGE part on my success EP’ing. You have to be very self-disciplined and make sure you keep a schedule (its very hard to get up in the middle of the night), but when I remind myself that what I am doing is one of the best things I can offer my child, it makes it easy. Sorry to ramble on. Just wanted to share my story and tell everyone thank you.
December 27th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
thanks for the site. before giving birth I said I would give breastfeeding 2 weeks and if it ended up being too stressful (since it seems the majority of people I knew had problems breastfeeding) I would quit. I was not breastfed and I am thin, healthy, never sick and a physician — so I turned out ok. So then why do I feel guilty about EPing?
I guess I had heard about EPing prior to birth from a friend whose sister had 3 kids and one she had to EP. I had rented a pump from the hospital anyway and when the pain from BF never went away despite LC, breast shells, proper latch, etc, I started to alternate one BF with one pump. The BF sessions were just too stressful and painful and I felt this was NOT quality time with my little one. So it then led to EP only in the last couple days (she is 17 days old now). I have struggled with this, but after reading other peoples experiences, I think it won’t take long for me to just accept it. I guess being an over-achiever I feel like I failed at BF and there should be a way to fix it. But sometimes it just is what it is. Only problem now is that my supply seems to be going down. I was getting 4oz and now only 2.5oz with the right side significantly less than the left. Not sure why but will try to work on (more water, fenugreek?). So hopefully that won’t ruin it and send me to formula, but if it does, I still have to remember I turned out great without a drop of breast milk.
December 28th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Hi Christina,
Congratulations on the birth of your baby girl! I’m sorry to hear about your difficulties breastfeeding. Unfortunately, you are certainly not the only new mom who has found information and support lacking. I really encourage you to keep seeking out support and help. You sound as though you do really wish to breastfeed your baby. Not all lactation consultants are the same- some are much better than others and much more knowledgeable. At only 17 days post-partum, you have time on your side.
You ask why you feel guilty about EPing. First off, guilt is a commonly reported emotion. Sometimes it is guilt and often it is grief. You have expectations during pregnancy and when they do not come about you are often left with grief over the loss of what you had hoped/expected to happen. Guilt is more appropriate when you are doing something other than what you know you should do. I always tell women that if they have honestly done all they can to make it work, then they should not feel guilty. More appropriate I think would be anger at the society that makes breastfeeding so difficult through lack of support, the marketing of formula and bottles as normal, among other things.
Breastfeeding is a biologically expected activity. There is a biological expectation for a mother to nurture and nourish her babies at her breast; it is why we are mammals. There are many reasons beyond simple nutrition for breastfeeding. As new mothers, we are primed hormonally to breastfeed and bond with our babies, and I think when this doesn’t happen we, somewhere deep in our being, recognize the loss of what is intended.
In regards to your supply concerns, it is vital that you are pumping frequently and for long enough periods per session. At 17 days, and with concerns, I would recommend pumping no less than 8 times a day for about 15-20 minutes/session. It is also very important to be using a high quality double electric breast pump. You mention renting a pump from a hospital, so I wouldn’t think your pump should be a problem, but it is always important to ensure it is working effectively. There are still many things that can be done to increase your milk supply at this stage.
Again, thank you for your comment.
Best wishes,
Stephanie
January 12th, 2010 at 7:29 pm
Sheila,
I EP’ed for reasons similar to yours. I wanted my husband to be able to feed my son as well and wanted a way to keep track of how much he was eating, etc. I developed high blood pressure after he was born and had to be re-hospitalized and one of the meds was incompatible with nursing so I ended up pumping and dumping for a while. Eventually he was getting my milk exclusively and I was a serious producer. I used the hospital grade pump and until I learned to slow down was producing a gallon a day!
Anyway, we would freeze the milk in those Medela bags. A regular freezer attached to a fridge allows you to keep it for I think 4 or 6 weeks. A deep freezer allows you to store milk for 6 months. We used both. I’d pump and any excess would go into the freezer with a date on it. We’d pull some of those when necessary and let them thaw in the fridge before giving the milk to my son. We had a bottle warmer to bring cold milk to a nicer temp. Thawed breast milk smelled a little funky, but it didn’t slow him down.
I pumped from June-December but my son had my milk until February. Near the end we alternated milk and formula and eventually just went to formula. I had so much frozen milk that was going to expire that I actually donated quite a bit to a local milk bank!
I liked pumping while on the internet - it was my quiet time and if my son was hungry or fussed while I was attached to the machine, it was my husband’s turn to feed him. I’m lucky enough to work in an office with a locking door and a fridge so I pumped when I returned to work as well. I really liked it.
I recommend the book “The Milk Memos” as well. Good luck!
January 12th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
Oh, just to offer an example of the “rare” type - I knew I was going to EP while I was still pregnant (even before I got pregnant). I didn’t want to nurse, I had issues about it (and a friend who was really trying to push me into it) and EP’ing was my compromise. I did try nursing after he was born and he latched fine, but what can I say? I didn’t like it. When he fed, I felt like I was physically stuck in a situation I couldn’t control. I’d get antsy and frustrated and would sometimes cry. I didn’t want a little person attached to me, drinking from me. I realize these aren’t “natural” responses in some people’s opinions, but natural or not, I really disliked it. Pumping didn’t bother me. Feeding my son from a bottle didn’t bother me. So EP’ing allowed me to give him breastmilk, but in a way I didn’t resent or feel trapped by.
He’s now 19 months, super tall and strong with a silly streak and a wonderful vocabulary. We share lots of hugs and kisses.
January 19th, 2010 at 10:48 am
Deana, I am so glad to read what you have written and that I am not the only one who feels the way I do about nursing. For me it seems strange to feel that something that is suppose to be so natural seems so un-natural.
I am not a mother, and do not plan to be for a very very long time. However my boyfriend’s brother and sister-in-law have recently had a baby. She is nursing and a very good friend of mine had her third breastfed child around the middle of last year. I was in her hospital room visiting when the LC came in. I had mentioned to my friend that I have no desire to nurse my baby when I have one, even though it’s probably the most natural way to feed a baby, it seems very un-natural and strange to me. I felt guilty about that because I have always known the benefits of breastmilk vs. formula. She assured me there was nothing wrong with that and the formulas now have wonderful nutrients. I still felt that I wouldn’t be doing enough for my baby. And after listening to the LC speak to my friend about breastfeeding I felt even more guilty.
Back to my boyfriend’s sister-in-law. Being around a mother who is breastfeeding has further helped my decision to not breastfeed. I do not like the idea that anytime I am somewhere I will need to leave whatever is going on to be alone for long periods of time and feel it would make me feel secluded. However, more and more I felt that it is very important to try to feed my child breastmilk because of all the benefits. So I thought about just pumping and storing it. Today I was looking up benefits for breastfeeding and came across this “exclusive pumping” and I thought “Thank goodness I am not the only one!” And even though there are several different reasons for EPing from everyone, and several different reasons that I have chosen this option I’m comforted to know that there is this option that many other women have chosen and when I do have a child there is support out there. After reading about this most of the day I have decided that I am not completely dismissing the idea of breastfeeding, like some of the mothers had mentioned I may try it while in the hospital just to get the experience but will most likely switch to EP once at home.
I also had a question regarding EP that I have not been able to find the answer to anywhere. There are benefits of breastfeeding for the mothers also. Some are listed as helping with post-baby weight loss, helping the uterus to shrink, helping the muscles of the abdomen, and others. I was wondering if EPing would also provide these benefits?
I am sorry to have written such a long post and not even able to contribute any useful information. I just wanted to express a “Thanks” for helping to make me to feel better about my decision.
February 20th, 2010 at 7:59 pm
I’m so grateful to have found this resource and others on the web. After two weeks of trying to master the latch and several visits with multiple LC’s, my poor nipples were just TORN up. My OB/GYN suggested I lay off breastfeeding for a few days to let myself heal…but my little baracuda did so much damage, a few days just didn’t cut it, and a week later, I decided I would just stick with exclusive pumping. Luckily my pediatrician fully supports this decision, admitting that she, herself, never loved breastfeeding! I had no idea so many emotions would play into this decision - as painful as breastfeeding was, I still long for it to have worked out, but, almost two weeks into EPing, my nipples STILL aren’t 100% back to “normal” - I know I made the right decision for ME. I guess being a mother is such a selfless expression, making a decision like this for myself feels a little selfish, but…that’s just foolish talk, I know. It’s so wonderful to know that there are others out there who are making this work. ANd now that I have an extension cord long enough to reach to the computer to read websites like this one, I think my pumping will go much easier!! Good luck to you all, and thanks for your support.
February 20th, 2010 at 10:26 pm
I too can’t believe it took me 5 1/2 months to find this! My baby was born 11 weeks early, and she did well with breast feeding 2 times a day after the first month in the NICU. But… 2 months later, I brought her home, and though I tried at home, it wasn’t overly successful. I don’t have any support at home, my husband works out of town and I don’t have any family to help… so… for me to try to breast feed, and then to pump afterwards to maintain a supply really took up my entire day. I wasn’t eating, sleeping, showering (eeww gross but true).. and worst of all, my baby was miserable. I slowly turned to the bottle… and eventually, I was EP’ing. I didn’t want to, but, that’s how things started out. I have a huge supply and for my tiny preemie at the beginning, she wasn’t able to keep up. With that came mastitis, several bouts of it… and so EP’ing made even more sense. Now that I’m EP’ing, no more mastitis. Sterilizing sucks for sure, but, I have time now to enjoy my daughter.
Thanks so much Stephanie for this article. I’m going to make everyone I know read it, or at least those people who are wondering why I’m not breast feeding. I feel like I’m constantly being judged not only by friends and family, but, by nurses and doctors as well. Thank God my daughter’s doctor isn’t like that, he’s pretty supportive… but.. she has several doctors and nurses still, and each time we see them, I feel like I’m being grilled as to why I’m still EP’ing and not breast feeding. My point… it’s nice for you to write an article like this, and allow us to comment. Just reading the other mom’s comments have made me feel so much better, and so much less guilt.. and … not so alone. I can’t thank you enough.
February 23rd, 2010 at 8:19 pm
i am going thru a dilemma at the moment. i have been able to breastfeed my 8 week old son without complication. i feed him about 7 times in 24 hours and i express some milk into a botle, which my husband gives to him for the night feed. i have found breastfeeding to be exhausting, time consumming, annoying and uncomfortable. i dislike the time it takes for my son to feed (just over an hour for both breasts), and my posture during feeds makes me feel back pain when he is feeding… any other posture (apart from hunched over) and he just wont latch on. i also require a nursing pillow to feed to keep him on the breast, as cradling him for too long puts strain on my arms and shoulders. i have been seriosly considering exclusivley pumping and giving milk via a bottle- but i feel SOOO guilty - the fact that i can still carry on doing breastfeeding, but i dont want to. the guilt of it all is in fact making me not exclusively pump! its just that i identify breastfeeding as being a good mother, giving my milk to my son is something noone else can do, but me. it makes me feel that i am the most important thing in his life, more important than anybody else. im just waiting for a good enough excuse to exclusively pump, but for the meantime, i will be breastfeeding, even though i just dont enjoy it like other mums.
February 23rd, 2010 at 8:26 pm
When my first child was born, she had a very difficult time latching on, but with the help of several LC’s in the very pro-breastfeeding hospital where I had her, I did get her to nurse, but with a poor latch. She did gain weight but slowly. One day I asked the nurse at my pediatrician’s office about EP and she told me it’s possible and they do have moms who do it, but that it is extremely exhausting b/c when you are not pumping, you are giving the baby the bottle so it’s double work. So I dropped the idea of EP right there and thankfully was able to breastfeed my daughter for 16 months, and to the last day she had a poor latch but she did get the milk out. Anyway, my point is that if for some reason feeding her from my breast didn’t work out, I probably would have went to formula b/c I was discouraged from EP. I breastfed both of my children and only pumped occasionally (I am a SAHM) but now three years after the fact, I have learned by reading this website that the option to EP is feasible and doable, where I was told that it was not. To all of you moms who EP, good for you for your dedication to your children, to giving them the best start in life with your milk.
February 24th, 2010 at 8:56 am
Dear Emily,
Congratulations on the birth of your son! I’m sorry to hear that you are having some concerns with breastfeeding. I think there are a couple important things that you bring up in your comment. I will start with the last point you make. You say that “for the meantime, i will be breastfeeding, even though i just dont enjoy it like other mums.” I think our society has set up a dangerous expectation making mothers believe that breastfeeding is always a wonderful, enjoyable, lovely, experience. It certainly is at times, but it isn’t always wonderful. I nursed my second child for 3 years, and there were certainly times that I couldn’t stand the idea of continuing. But I did and I’m very glad I did. Problems can come and then usually go. Just as with everything, there is good and bad. Enjoy the good and try to minimize the bad. Ultimately, breastfeeding is about providing nourishment to your baby and providing the biologically normal method of nutrition via a delivery method that maximizes its potential and that potential includes the attachment that is made easier through the direct contact of nursing and the hormones involved during this process. If you think about other mammals, I doubt any of those mothers are nursing their babies because they believe it is something they are meant to enjoy; instead they do it because that’s how nature has provided a means to feed their babies. So I guess what I’m saying is not to feel you are doing something wrong if you don’t love breastfeeding your baby and don’t believe that every other mother loves it either. There is a balance to everything.
The second thing you mention that made me take notice was the length of time it is taking your son to feed as well as your discomfort while nursing. A baby, especially your son’s age, should not be taking over an hour to finish nursing. I would wonder if he is having problems latching or for some reason there is poor milk transfer. Have you ever had a consultation with a lactation consultant (IBCLC)? I would strongly encourage you to seek out a consult with a qualified and experienced lactation consultant. They should be able to assess your baby’s latch and milk transfer and also watch your own position and posture when nursing to help you get more comfortable. Often with just little tweaks in position, you can become much more comfortable and your baby’s milk transfer can greatly improve.
Have you tried nursing lying down? This is the best thing ever! Prop some pillows behind you to support to and make sure your baby is positioned slightly under the breast so he has to reach up to latch and he gets a nice deep latch and then relax. This is definitely something a lactation consultant can help with. Another thing that may be helpful is to try nursing using a sling. This can allow for hands-free nursing and allow you to straighten up and get rid of the back and shoulder pain. Look around in your area for babywearing groups or businesses selling (and teaching how to use) baby carriers. Another thing to consider is attending a La Leche League meeting.
Hang in there. Mothering tends to be a very selfless endeavour. Whatever decision you do finally make, make it from a position of calm and with perspective. Breastfeeding is emotional; mothering is emotional! The first couple of months breastfeeding and mothering are most definitely the hardest and often things start to ease up after that. It will get better- eventually
I always believe that when a person is making the right decision for them, it will feel right. It may not be what you wanted, but it will feel right. I encourage you to wait for that moment.
Best wishes,
Stephanie
March 12th, 2010 at 3:51 pm
I can not say how grateful i am to have stumbled across this site!!! I had my baby girl on Jan. 28th of this year and the delivery was difficult and she ended up swallowing a LOT of fluid. This led to repeated choking and gagging and several stopped breathing episodes- VERY scary. Every nurse at the hospital had different conflicting advise about how to about feeding her. I ended up pumping my colostrum and syringe feeding along with formula supplementing at the hospital. I would try to BF but NEVER felt comfortable with positioning and she never did latch well. So once i got home after an EXHAUSTING five days of trying to only BF and one very hungry baby i just started bumping and giving it to her in a bottle. I was really disappointed that BF didn’t work out but thankfully my supply has been just fine EP and have several days worth in the freezer and plenty in the fridge. I will say that there is a lot of conflicting info about breast milk storage so its kinda hard to know if i am doing it right. I was always worried about when she got older and her demand would increase how hard it would be to pump that but reading all the comments on the site has shown me that it is very possible. I am so glad that i can give my daughter breastmilk, as BF just wasn’t relaxing and i didn’t feel that connected to my daughter trying to stuff my boob in her mouth! Its great to know that i have support and lots of other women are being successful in this endeavor. I will be a frequent visitor that’s for sure!!
March 19th, 2010 at 8:34 am
TQ so much for this website.My first baby will be 2 months tomorrow and i have been EP since he is 1 week old.He was 10 days overdue,and I had to be induced but i still dont dilate.The doctor then have to c-sect me (sigh), n there’s when my whole birth plan changed direction. I have been aiming to exclusively BF my bb,but I was so not ready for a c-sect that I had no preparation to BF a newborn after a c-sect.I was so drowsy that I didnt have the chance to have that 1st BF session. The next day,i found out that my baby has been fed FM!In a bottle!When we went back home,my baby developed nipple preference and unable to latch properly.I developed cracked nipples,the baby was crying all the time and it became a very stressful episode in life.Finally, with heavy heart I opted to pumping.I was feeling down most of the time, feeling that I lost those bonding moments with my son, but the smile on his face when he is full with my BM really cheer me up.At that time, i only had this 1 manual pump (was waiting for electric pump to arrive), and those mom out there who EP sure understand how hard it is to EP with a manual pump. I am so lucky though, my husband supports me tremendously. We never knew that the term EP existed, until finally my electric pump arrived yesterday! I was browsing through the manual, and the term EP came up! I was shocked, and immediately googled EP, and hey presto this site came up!TQ so much for this site,it surely lifts my spirit.It is such a relief to know that lots of other moms are having the same experience, and even succesfully supply BM to their babies!
March 23rd, 2010 at 12:10 am
well…i really wish i would’ve found this website a whole lot sooner… I’ve chosen to exclusively pump, and everything was fine for the first few weeks and now i’m not producing the right amount of milk. When i leave him with the baby sitter, i would only have enough milk pumped for one feeding and they would use formula as a replacement so now from not frequently pumping i’m not producing enough milk… WHAT DO I DO? I want to continue giving him breast milk.
March 31st, 2010 at 12:27 am
Wow-so glad I found this. I have just made the choice to exclusively pump for my daughter for the forseeable future. My little girl needs emphasis on little-she was born at 37 weeks, but only weighed five pounds ten ounces. When we left the hospital two weeks ago, she had dropped to five pounds seven ounces-technically a low birth weight baby. Add birth trauma from a vacuum assisted deliver and jaundice on top of this, and you have one tired baby who just can’t nurse at the breast. My flat nipples certainly didn’t help the situation! I tried so hard to breastfeed her-met with lactation, used nipple shields, endured her screaming at the breast, topping her off with a bottle of expressed milk, putting her to bed, then pumping for fifteen minutes, washing bottles and pump parts, only to have the cycle start all over again not half an hour later, all day long. I was at the end of my rope physically and mentally. Now? She is sound asleep in her basinet in our bedroom, I just pumped out 4.5 ounces, and I can sleep knowing she is happy and full. Maybe in the future when her strength is up I’ll try her on the breast again, but for now I’ve found peace knowing I’m doing the best I can for our little angel.
April 13th, 2010 at 8:32 am
Hi Lina,
Thank you for your comment. I think you have alluded to the cause of your low supply and what you will need to do in order to increase it. You mention that “now from not frequently pumping i’m not producing enough milk”. Lactation is all about supply and demand. If you don’t place the demand on your body, you won’t maintain the supply. There is no way around this. For some women, it is necessary to pump with high frequency. Others can get away with being a little more lax. But ultimately, if you are not pumping frequently and consistently, your supply will drop. In order to increase it, you must pump more!
Best wishes,
Stephanie
April 14th, 2010 at 5:22 pm
I agree that information on exclusively pumping is hard to find out there. It is something I kind of fell into because it was painful to breastfeed but I still felt strongly about the benefits of breast milk. But I thought I was the only one doing it. Pumping helped me feed my daughter breast milk exclusively for 8 months and milk/formula combo for another 3 (I went back to work so my production was cut). This website would have been great for me two years ago, but I am glad it is here anyway.
May 1st, 2010 at 1:35 am
I wanted to say thank you thank you thank you for this website. Our little boy was born at 37 weeks via an induction that after 24 hours and every known method turned into a c-section thanks to my being diagnosed with severe gestational hypertension. From the first day or so in the hospital I noticed he was not getting enough to drink from bf so I immediately started pumping as I was paranoid that my milk would vanish. It turns out my instincts were correct as a few days later he had dropped from 5 lb 8 oz at birth to around 5 lb and the pediatrician was throwing around “formula”. I then negotiated with the nurse and doctor to find another way to raise his weight which was pumping and feeding him via a syringe every 2 hours. Miracle of miracle within 48 hours he went up to 5 lb 2 oz, enough to go home. At his 2 week checkup he is up to 5 lb 15 oz and I know that is because I have been suplementing after bf with the pumped milk/syringe. I have been wrestling with the guilt that I may have to ep if he does not get the proper latch within a few weeks (as my husband and I are beyond drained with the 3 step process of bf, syringe feeding and pumping every 2 to 3 hours) and your site has made me feel less guilt and less like a “bad mother” despite EVERYONE’s encouragement to bf regardless of my lack of sanity.
I wish more people were aware of this as an option as I personally know at least 4 women who if they had known about this could have avoided formula feeding completely. It’s a real shame that even pediatricians do not like to encourage ep. It seems that unless someone has given birth to a preemie or had trouble with latching that they think something is wrong with the mother or that she is lazy if she does not bf.
My only question is that if I do end up ep, I will have to stop the syringe feeding and am not sure which nipples are the best type for him as he is really tiny.
May 17th, 2010 at 8:35 am
Thank you very much for this informational website. I am currently in the 12th week of my first pregnancy and have already decided that I would be EPing right from the time I deliver. I’m glad to see a couple of women above who are also EPing by choice. I have a few questions that I hope someone can answer.
1) What should I do with respect to pumping “immediately after birth”? I am planning on a homebirth and if everything goes well, I plan to put the pump to my breast right away. I have heard that milk supply may not come in for about a day or so, but whatever does come out, I would like to keep stimulating the supply.
2) How to pump in order to stay ahead of the baby’s demands by at least 3-4 feedings? I am guessing this may not be possible immediately after birth as the baby will be hungry before I even get a chance to pump.
I will be a full time stay at home mom so time is not an issue for me.
Thanks for any support and answers that you can provide.
(I don’t ever use the email address I have entered, so please don’t email me).
Asha
May 18th, 2010 at 6:32 am
Hi Asha,
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I would encourage you to read through the information on this site, particularly through the Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) section. There are previous posts that answer your questions directly.
Most important if pumping to initiate supply is to start as soon after delivery as possible, use an excellent quality and preferably hospital grade double electric pump, pump very frequently- every 2 hours around the clock, and feed your baby what you pump. Frequency is key in the early days, so don’t skimp.
Best wishes,
Stephanie
May 21st, 2010 at 3:08 pm
I am so glad I found this website. I wish I would’ve found it sooner. I, too, am faced with the dilemma of continually trying to breastfeed. I figured breastfeeding was a natural process & figured my body knew what to do, but things continue not to work for me. My daughter is now 10 weeks old and since day 1, she never preferred my breast. She would latch every now & then but never nursed. She would also cry each time I put her to my breast even when she was calm. After every attempt, it left me in tears to hear her cry each time. I stopped putting her to the breast after while since I didn’t want to tramatize her & have her fear my breast. I still try to put her to the breast when I can. I’ve been feeling guilty about not breastfeeding, since I intended to with my first born.
Due to the lack of support from the hospital staff & my own fault for not educating myself (as I did with my pregnancy) on breastfeeding, I’ve turned to exclusively feeding her formula. She was given a bottle in the hospital since she would not latch on properly & she cried constantly the first night while I was hooked up to an IV (since I lost a lot of blood & almost had to have a blood transfusion). I was exhausted but I still tried. Little did I know that the nurses could have given me an option to pump milk for her or supply me with a breast shield, anything before given her a bottle. Due to her nipple confusion she does not nurse. Days & weeks went by she was supplemented with formula. Feeling guilt daily, I bought a hand held single pump thinking it would work but due to the lack of my own research on breast pumps & increasing milk supply, I was not able to pump enough milk & increase my milk supply. After the 1st month & a half way into the 2nd month I became frustrated & simply gave up. I guess I accepted the fact that she would be formula fed.
I had a terrible postpartum to begin with. I admit that I didn’t take good care of myself since I was home alone with her and felt that I had no support. I was lucky to even eat a regular meal & was was losing weight in an unhealthy manner. Within the last month I’ve been doing much better and even felt guilty about feeling satisfied with giving my daughter formula because she is a happy & healthy baby. It was such a relief since she wouldn’t cry as much from my breastfeeding attempts & that her dad & other relatives could help me feed her (since recently I’ve returned back to work - fulltime). However, after that feeling of guilt in the pit of my stomach & ongoing pressure by the community I live in & some family members to breastfeed, I felt less of a mother that my body could not nourish my baby. I’ve noticed that I am still producing milk, but not much (just enough to express a few drops). I saw this as a sign for me not to give up. I wondered how much milk I could pump using a hospital grade pump, so now I am going to try it. I have an appt. w/an LC & will be picking up the pump today. I want to increase my milk supply as well. I’ve been drinking Mother’s Milk tea & want to try Fenugreek as well. I just want to try even if it may seem too late (10 weeks!). I contacted an LC via email & she recommended pumping 8x/day to start off. I heard some stories of other mothers who’ve successfully pumped &/or breastfed months after being unsuccessful. If it doesn’t work out, at least I tried. Perhaps I could let go of some of that guilt. I still enjoy my baby girl despite the problems I’m having.
If it weren’t for the abundant resources & advice on the internet, I probably would have given up. Thanks for having this website!
June 9th, 2010 at 8:59 pm
My first few days in the hospital, I tired to pump some milk out, however there was nothing coming out, i was so disappointed and frustrated myself. But then all the drs and nurses kept encouraging me, so from a few drops before, now i can pump 2-4oz each section. Althought still not enough (my baby is taking 3-4 oz each feeding as she is 6 weeks old) still I have good breastmilk for her. I sometimes do 1-2 time formula/day, since I dont hv enough breastmilk. I pump 8-9 times a day, each time around 20-30 mins. I rather how can I increase from 2-4 oz to 4-6 oz? So i can store some milk when I go back to work.
Thanks for the website.
July 7th, 2010 at 8:28 am
I came across this website about 6 months into EPing. For me, formula was not an option. I tried to breastfeed, but my baby and I just never had a great latch. I think I wanted it too bad and got frustrated too easily. Being bottle fed has worked out for me so well, it made a great transition for me to go back to work as well. Although, I feel I missed out on a bonding experience, I am grateful that he was able to get the nutrients he needs!
July 23rd, 2010 at 9:26 pm
Thank G*d for this website. I was beginning to think I was the only woman out there that chose EP. Every book, article, etc. talks about pumping to go back to work or if you have a premature baby. Neither of those situations were my case.
I’ve been EP-ing for my son since he was two weeks old (He’s now 8 weeks). He was a week overdue and he latched on fine after a few rough starts. I actually thought I had the whole “breastfeeding thing” down when I left the hospital. It wasn’t until our first check-up when I found out that he’d lost 12% of his body weight in the first 4 days that I was clued into the fact that I wasn’t providing for my son. The doc suggested I supplement with formula after each breastfeeding, which I did. I also went out and bought a breast pump. By the next week, his weight was back up but he had developed a preference for the bottle.
I had family members that made me feel guilty for giving the bottle and I spent days reading how to get my kid back on the breast (including - throw away all bottles - not on your life). After a particularly heart-wrenching session when my son screamed for 30 minutes and I cried while trying to get him to latch on, I gave him the bottle of breast milk. I looked at his contented face and realized that trying to live up to others’ ideals had made me miserable and unable to enjoy my time with my beautiful child. Right then and there, I decided that the only two people that matter in this equation are me and my son. I feel better knowing that I am providing breast milk for my son (and now I can tell exactly how much he’s getting).
August 16th, 2010 at 8:10 am
Like everyone else, I’m glad I came upon this site. I was asking myself why are the only two options being presented to me to either breastfeed or give her formula? Why can’t I pump my milk, bottlefeed, and get my life back? I started searching for anything I could find on the internet and this seems to be the only resource. I have ordered Stephanie’s book and yesterday was my first day surrendering to trying to breastfeed my little girl. I already feel the weight off my shoulders. My situation is similar to only a couple other posts, however, we all have the same thing in common - finding and doing what is best for our children and ourselves. My baby girl was born 3 weeks early and weighed 5.2 pounds when we took her home from the hospital. She was latching on - but she would fall asleep and I couldn’t wake her up (yes, I tried EVERYTHING all the books recommend to wake her up - she was NOT going to wake up!). She would eventually wake up screaming and was uncooperative. At her first doctor’s appointment she was down to 4.15 pounds. I was shocked. I learned she was too little to properly breastfeed and was getting less than 2 teaspoons during a 30 minute + feeding session. I was instructed to start the cycle of breastfeed/pump/feed bottle every 2 hours. I had no sleep or spare time - which is NOT my style. I NEED SLEEP to function!!! I’m going back to work soon (and I am gone up to 11 hours a day at times) and need a schedule and routine…so I made the decision to pump and give the bottle. Luckily, I found this wonderful resource to help me along. Thank you, Stephanie. Perhaps the next step would be to start local support groups because we don’t seem to get support or understanding from friends who have successfully breastfed or the baby’s doctor. Our situations are unique and we need others who stand by our decisions. I don’t have the guilt because I was at the point of going to formula and this is a much better alternative. I think we can still “bond” with our children in the same way I bonded with my parents - receiving plenty of unconditional love!
September 8th, 2010 at 11:42 am
Hi, my baby is 7 weeks old. We have been breastfeeding. Her latch is good about half the time. Early on, the pacifier got her latch messed up. Then her weight gain wasn’t great, and we were instructed by the pediatrician to give 2-3 bottles of formula a day to supplement. The bottles messed up her latch a little too. Probably half the time she latches on, it is the right latch. She still is having problems gaining weight. She is gaining, but slowly. Also, this is my 3rd child and it is very busy in my house. It is difficult for me to sit and breastfeed quietly and without distraction. I wish we could snuggle on the couch all day and nurse but unfortunately my other children need to be fed also. I also have to go back to work in a few weeks. For the above reasons, I am considering EPing. I just hope my baby doesn’t get sad or wonder why mommy isn’t offering her breast anymore. I might end up comfort nursing a little in addition. But she does take the bottle great, and actually I think she prefers the bottle. Sometimes at the boob, she fusses and pops on and off, and cries. When she gets a bottle, she sits quietly and drinks and sometimes falls asleep while drinking. I really think we’d all be happier if I EP. Thanks for the website.
September 19th, 2010 at 9:10 pm
I have been eping since my 3rd baby was hospitalized for the 1st time@6 weeks. He has bilateral vocalchord paralisis(they are opened and don’t close), because of this he aspirates anything that he gets orally. He now has a feeding tube and the only way for him to get breastmilk is through me pumping. He was exclusivly breastfeeding until he was hospitalized.He has severe GERD and trachiamalasia which when he got adenvirus and rsv within a week of each other caused him to literally drown in his throat. After 3 bouts of dehydration and aspiration pneumonia he was intubated and spent 2 weeks on a ventilator the intubation we think resulted in the paralisis. He has now had a nissen fundoplication so he is not refluxing, and with the feeding tube is regaining the pound and a half that he lost in a week. I have 2 older children and they self weaned both at almost 2 years of age. I planned to allow the 3rd to do the same, I now plan to ep for him as long as possible. I was heartbroken that I would not be able to nurse this baby, but that has subsided now. I am so happy to have found this site, it has been very helpful.
September 24th, 2010 at 12:19 pm
Happy to see this info! I think more women could be giving their babies at least 25% breast milk or more if the lacation world wasn’t so self-righteous about actual breastfeeding being SO much better…for me I could not get my baby to latch, and then I was delayed in starting with a pump while my baby lost weight and sank to the 5th percentile….if I had started pumping right way, she might have been on 10% breastmilk, but she has been getting 30-40% breastmilk via a bottle for 7 months now, far better than nothing, and yet other women still make me feel like I’m negligent because everyone is so judgemental about this issue, it gets in the way of best outcomes!
October 17th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
I just came across this site accidentally, but was glad to see it, because it’s spreading the info about EPing. All women should know that they have another option, not just breasfeeding or bottle-feeding with formula. I never knew about it when gave birth to my son. Luckily enough we had a lot of support for breastfeeding in the hospital. Unfortunately my son was never able to latch at all. That’s when I was introduced to a pump, and my EPing journey started. I never had any kind of breastfeeding relationship with my precious boy, but never considered formula as an option. I did try to get him to latch for quite awhile, since I wanted it so badly, but my son had a mind of his own since birth:)…just wanted to say to all women that choose to EP for whatever reason- it is absolutely possible for as long as you like! My little boy will be a year old in three weeks, and we are still going strong. And also you don’t have to be tied up to that pump forever! After 4 months I started slowly decreasing the number of pumps, just pumping longer each time to empty properly. And now I only pump 3 times a day, still producing 40 oz’s a day. I not only fed my son breast milk exclusively all that time, but also donated hundreds and hundreds of oz’s to babies that needed it. So don’t listen to anyone telling you it will not work long term! If you have your mind set on it you can do it!!!
October 22nd, 2010 at 10:05 am
This site is the only one I have found to relieve my frustrations and heartache I ghave been feeling about having to decide to only pump. My baby girl was full term, a week and 2 days late actually, and I planned to only breastfeed from the beginning of pregnancy. The LC at the hospital covered the usual about latch(right and wrong) weight gain, but DID NOT stress the importance of ONLY feeding with the breast. A week after she was born her grandparents wanted her for a night, and along with her went a couple bags of pumped milk and some bottles. Later I would find that ended my short lived breastfeeding relationship with her. Sore nipples, her screaming and my crying over failure made me decide to EP. After this happened it seemed like this was common sense as a no-no, but I’m a new mom, I never heard about this. If there was one thing the LC could have told me, and other new moms is if you want to breastfeed, ONLY breastfeed for the first 1-2 months. Pumping still gives her breastmilk, but it doesn’t erase my feeling of loss of a special bond.
December 12th, 2010 at 9:38 am
I am so happy to see this site! I had my first baby December 2. Although it has only been 10 days since my baby’s birth, I have had more feelings of guilt and frustration over breastfeeding than I ever imagined possible.
Throughout my pregnancy I imagined that I would breastfeed. I never imagined that I would have issues. Right after my babies birth, I caught a nurse syringing formula into his mouth - even though I gave strict instructions I didn’t want any formula or sugar water fed to him! I was told by nurses that I had flat nipples, and then by the lactation consultant that they weren’t flat but short. The nurses were constantly grabbing my breasts during feedings and one time I even had two nurses grabbing my breast at the same time. On my last night I had a nurse who kept waking me up every hour to try and feed and finally at four am woke me up and told me she was taking my baby to the nursery to feed him formula or she was going to give him blood sugar tests to keep him - even though he was born 6.14 and only lost 5 ounces of weight! I told her that she wasn’t taking him and if anyone was going to feed him we would. She brought the formula to us and my husband fed him while I lay in bed crying.
The next day the pediatrician came in and told me to feed hin on each breast for 10 minutes and then supplement with formula until my milk came in. We went home and did this for a day until my milk came in.
Unfortunately, my baby has not learned to latch, and he constantly cries or falls asleep at my breast. I have tried to feed him, would then give him a bottle of my breastmilk, and then pump. It has been a vicious cycle. I feel horrible because my baby hates my breasts, and the whole cycle takes 1-1.5 hours. A few days ago I decided that I pretty much was going to EP, and when I told my mom she said that my sisters friend did that and now has horrible breast problems.
Has anyone heard of breast issues occuring from EP??? I really want to give my baby breastmilk and not formula, and I am usually not a quitter, but I just don’t see him all of a sudden starting to latch on and us being one of the lucky pairs who can breastfeed straight from the nipple. I am not trying to be negative here, but I called the lactation consultant and she was worthless…I’ve read a ton of articles and books in the last 10 days on breastfeeding and nothing is working for me except EP…I have the Medella Pump in Style, so I don’t have a cheap pump…
December 17th, 2010 at 4:58 am
I came across this site out of sheer desperation to find information and literature on EP. My now 12-week-old baby was born 14 days overdue. For the first 5 weeks she was doing a wonderful job exclusively breastfeeding. However, at 5 weeks I started pumping alongside nursing in preparation for the return to work. For about a week she would seamlessly interchange between breast and bottle. However, by midway through 6 weeks she started refusing the breast (literally screaming upon sight). I have been able to get her to take the breast at night when she is half asleep. However, if she has full awareness, she will fuss with the great intensity upon sight of the breast and it immediately stops once she is given a bottle of expressed milk. I went to a breastfeeding support group to seek out support. All the other babies were happily nursing. Meanwhile, my little one screamed the entire 60 minutes while the lactation consultant stuck a gloved finger and syringe in her mouth. Both she an I were crying by the time we left. I was heartbroken that my able-bodied baby would not breastfeed. After many failed and painful attempts to get her back on the breast, I finally decided that I was no longer going to fight her preference for a bottle of expressed milk. She is now 12 weeks and has gradually been working her way off the breast in her sleepy evening hours. Hence, I am now exclusively pumping day and night. All of my stay-at-home mom friends who breastfeed are incredibly unsupportive of my EP practices. Hence, I am seeking support elsewhere, and am so happy and relieved to come across this site and book prospect. Thank you.
January 20th, 2011 at 7:53 am
Wow–I wish I would have found this site six years ago! My oldest son was a very large baby who would latch on but would not suck hard. I went through a very painful (literally and emotionally) time trying to get breastfeeding to work, where I tried many bells and whistles and tricks, but eventually I went to exclusively pumping and topping him off with formula (I also did not produce a lot of milk). It was such a miserable experience for me in the first few months of his life as all I was doing was feeding him, that it threw me into a solid depression. I felt like a failure and a cow and I ran into so much ignorance and pressure from family members and friends. I did not seriously and madly love my son for the first four months of his life. It was a horrible time. Finally a lactation consultant told me to pump and top off with formula–and then my life got so much better. Thank God for the pediatrician–who said that the important thing is that I’m “feeding the baby. Period. If at least some is breastmilk, that’s fantastic, and that it doesn’t matter how the breastmilk gets into the baby. People can argue about the bonding that occurs when the baby is on the breast, but fathers and adoptive parents bond just as well, too!” She rocks. I pumped for eight months with my oldest son until my supply ran out. Now I have a new baby son. I went almost right to pumping with him–he was a big baby too and was starving shortly after birth like my oldest had been. I was determined to not repeat the same pattern with my first son–I wanted to enjoy my newborn! So I went to pumping–and now it’s been six months. I make more milk than I did with my oldest son; I now pump between 50-60% of what my baby needs. I feel proud that I have made it six months (even though I still meet non-support with some family members–urgh). I did not get depressed and I have enjoyed him from the first day! I plan to keep going as long as I feel like I can–a day-by-day choice. I’d like to make it 8 months–maybe even a whole year? We’ll see! For those people who worry about bonding and IQ points with breastmilk vs. formula–I have this to say–I was almost three months premature when I was born in the seventies. I never received breastmilk (no pumping encouragement for my mom). My younger brother was breastfed for 8 months until he gave it up. I was the one for whom school came easy. I was in advanced classes and went to college. My brother had learning disabilities and barely made it through high school. Oh–and I was the healthier kid–he had severe asthma and other issues. And–I am way more attached to my mom than he is… So, mommies, feel good about your choice. I so wish I had seen this site years ago. I felt so alone and so bad about myself. I have discovered with my second child than many other moms will admit to me that they never tried breastfeeding their second or third children or did it only a few weeks or months. I have to say that I don’t know how I’d breastfeed on the breast right now–my six year-old son and his schedule would definitely pose a challenge to this! I can’t imagine what would happen if I was trying to get a baby to latch on and be positioned correctly and then eat!! All of the mommies out there that make it happen–power to you–all of you mommies that pump–you rock!
We do a horrible disservice to each other as women in this country. Like the pediatrician said, the important thing is that the baby is fed. I love how in this country we are so concerned with breastfeeding on the breast, but we also don’t want to see it in public!
March 5th, 2011 at 3:52 pm
Thank you so much for your site! I found it a little too late, but better than never. All my friends have been able to breastfeed without too much trouble, no problems with supply except too much! Not the case with me. My baby was born 4.5 weeks early via c-section. She had a wonderful latch right off and then the second night they took her to the NICU since she was born 4 lbs 11 oz and had dropped in weight like most babies, but since she was so small it was a problem. Well they gave her a bottle and paci since they said it was good for preemies to practice their suck. After that she was on the nipple shield. I would nurse for 30 minutes, then bottle feed since she was only getting 8mls from me for 30 minutes and then have to pump for 20 minutes and was only able to get 15mls-20mls. Then wash parts. Repeat every 2-3 hours. After 10 days in the hospital we agreed we would bottle feed to supplement so we could go home. I tried pumping after the nurse/supplement combo every time, I ate special oatmeal cookies, the two herbal supplements they suggest, warm compression, LC support groups, you name it. Lots of tears and then I learned how to pump and feed the supplemental bottle at the same time which saved me 4 hours a day. Still the process was so tiring and she didn’t gain weight the first month that I gave in after 1 1/2 months and only nursed her twice a day and the rest pumped. I made it to 2 months and then EP, but still had to supplement because I did not make enough for her. My capacity to store milk I guess is really low. I still wrestle with regret when all my friends seem to do just fine and then you read the whole it’s all in the mother’s mind if she think she’s not making enough or she’s not trying all the tricks. I tried everything so much so all the doctors and nurses commented on my dedication but didn’t know how I could physically and mentally carry on much longer. In the end our happiness won out. I was able to be the caring and happy mom my baby deserved. Plus she still gets most of the good stuff. It has been 4 months and I am back at work and it is tiring. Every day I feel like giving up, but my goal is to make it to 6 months. 2 more 2 go! wish me good luck!
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:11 pm
i just gave birth to my first child a wonderful girl named Cecilia. She was born at 6lbs 3 oz. I was doing great (or so I thought) at the hospital. She had jaundice and when we checked out of the hospital we were told to come back the next day to have her level for jaundice tested again and to evaluate her weight. She lost almost a lb in 24 hours!! She was immediately admitted into the NICU and she was started on formula to supplement since I was not producing ANY milk - I only could pump 1-3ml of colostrum and I was freaking out because I felt like this was all my fault and my baby was in the NICU because of me. I felt horrible and guilty (to make matters worse my MIL commented that all capable mothers were able to breastfeed their children). Luckily my daughter did wonderfully. She gained 4 oz overnight and she was released the next afternoon.
I went to a lactation consultant who is WONDERFUL and we did very well while we were there, then we got home. I was still very nervous about her not getting enough milk - i am a factual person - I NEEDED to know she was getting enough to eat. I was breastfeeding for a while, it usually was me getting stressed out - she was eating then getting hungry not 30 min later she was wanting to breastfeed every 30 min while I was awake and every 45 min if I was lucky during the night. then i got a horribly clogged duct. i was in horrendous pain if she eyed my breast too long, but i knew i needed to pump since it was too painful to breastfeed. I was getting stressed out with the routine of breastfeeding then supplementing and then after that process of 45min-1hr I had to pump for another 15-20min.
She was gaining weight, but I was getting so stressed that I noticed a decrease in pumping and her getting less satisfied with each breastfeeding. I started pumping because I wanted to see the numbers going in, and I noticed she was beginning to eat 3-4oz of formula and I was/am only able to pump 1-2 oz each time. If I pumped every 2-3hrs the next pump would only be 1 oz and if I waited a titch longer 3-4hrs I could get 2 oz, but she was eating every 2 hours. Numbers wise I am unable to give her the whole amt without her being hungry still.
I have decided to EP today. I want her to eat enough and I want to give her breastmilk. Her doctor told me that ANY breastmilk is better than none and if I wanted to EP then power to me and to do it as long as I could. My mother and husband are so supportive and understanding that I feel like I should still try to breastfeed, but truly I get too stressed thinking about the numbers going in that I get myself worked up to a point where I cannot produce enough.
This morning I had made the decision and I am much more relaxed and my daughter can sense it. I pump and pump and she eats and eats. I am trying to build my supply and demand to a point where I will not need formula, but if I do then I do I won’t feel guilty anymore. This site has helped me and let me tell you I have been researching.
August 2nd, 2011 at 10:41 am
My baby is 1.5months old and I am a first time mother. Due to flat nipples my baby never latches from day one. He was fed formula during my 2day hospital stay through the plastic cup and till a lactation consultant suggested a nipple shield and we got him to bf through it. The bf sessions were always very tiring, resulting in a frustrated baby and a tearful, guilty mother(ME!)… As we used frm lactation aid, cup, nipple shield, finally the bottle to feed him formula. Pump was suggested quite late.
Now that I was bf as well as pumping my nipples turned sore and bled. Even though I used Lansinoh, they were not healing so a nurse on a bf call enter line advised me to let it heal completely. That may have been my biggest mistake as now my baby refuses to take my breast even with a nipple shield. No matter how long I let him cry over it showing that this is his only means of milk, he just would not take it.
Now my concern is that have any of your milk supply decreased or eventually finished if you were exclusively pumping only as that is what my mother has been warning me and I just don’t know what to do. I am currently pumping and supplementing rest with formula. Please advise, I just don’t know what to do anymore and am getting really anxious day by day.
Thanx
Hana
My concern
August 8th, 2011 at 10:39 am
My baby is 11 months old and I have been EP since he was 2 months old. I plan on EP until he is 18-24 months old or as long as my supply holds up, so far so good. I tried breastfeeding him for 2 months and after sore, cracked, bleeding nipples the whole 2 months I could not stand the pain any longer. The LC said he was latching on fine, he was gaining weight, and seemed to be getting enough,so I still don’t know why it didn’t work out. I am glad I am able to at least give him the breast milk.
August 23rd, 2011 at 8:35 am
My son is 6 weeks old and while I started off attempting breastfeeding, I supplemented formula because he was so jaundiced. I found it very difficult to get him to nurse after that and have started ep’ing. While I felt guilty about it for a while, I realized that I cared more that people knew I was nursing than how I felt. I don’t like the time it takes to pump but I do bond with him much more than when I nursed. He always kept his shut and screamed for half an hour until I finally got him latched. Now, he stares at me while I feed him. We are both much happier.
I do have a question that I haven’t found answered anywhere. All of the breastfeeding benefits for the moms: burning extra calories, shrinking of uterus, etc…does that also apply to ep’ing moms? I am so curious. I know he gets the same benefits from the breast milk, minus the skin on skin contact (which we still do, just not while feeding) but what about the moms? I would be very interested to know.
Another question: I used to feel a strong letdown reflex when nursing, like an itchy tingling pain, but I don’t feel that at all when pumping. I do get about 5 oz at each pumping though so I must be having a letdown. Is this common?
August 25th, 2011 at 4:25 am
Re:Hana
I feel your pain,I too am wondering if my milk supply will eventually diminish. ive been to two lactation consultants for help and ive been treading water on my own at home. this last consultant mentioned that the baby’s saliva on my breasts was necessary for my milk production to continue, otherwise if i just solely pump i would dry up. i had never heard that before and am skeptical about that since i have known a few mothers who solely pumped and had plenty of milk. so ive been trying to research that theory but haven’t found anything yet. my baby was born on the 9th of August and i breastfed him exclusively the entire duration at the hospital. His latch was not great and would have several attempts before he got it right. in the process though my nipples were becoming very tender and out of shear sleep exhaustion i would let him at times suckle improperly. well when we were released a day and a half later i was having a harder time getting comfortable and he was still not latching on quite right and i was puzzled because i had breastfed my earlier two children with no problem. i noticed he never really opened his mouth very wide to accomodate my large nipples. i was beginning to become engorged and i was decreasing on my feedings due to the pain of breastfeeding. i called for a lactation consultant at the hospital that i had good repore with and while i was being re-educated on proper breastfeeding all seemed to go well and he was latching on and eating great……till i got home and tried to repeat the process. every day afterwards got worse and worse to the point i had to just pump and feed him breastmilk thru a bottle. my milk production went from 2oz. per breast to 1oz. and i was having to suppliment with formula. i was upset and frustrated and even told myself he might just be a formula fed baby like my firstborn. but i didnt like that thought and felt guilty for even suggesting it to myself since i had prided myself in breastfeeding my last two exclusively, not to mention the added pressure of others expecting no less from a “seasoned breastfeeding mom”. i still feel miserable about it but i also want some relief and sleep! i feel like i’ve been in superwoman mode….trying to cope with this and other stressful issues at home……and i need a break! i am still trying though to increase my milk production by drinking milk thistle herbal tea 4 times a day and pumping when i leak and trying to feed every 2-3 hours, which needs some improvement…..i thought to buy an oven timer to help me stay on time. my only concern now is that the one breast that my baby is primarily sucking from is the one that is producing the least amount of milk when i pump and v.s. on the other breast…..makes no sense to me and worries me on the sucess of trying to increase milk production in general. thanks for lending an ear! rachel
August 31st, 2011 at 12:20 pm
My baby is 2 months old. I breastfeed her fine during her 1st week but then I had to readmitted to the hospital for postpartum preeclampsia and she got formula bottles. Once I was discharged I breastfeed her but we supplemented her with formula. My milk supply diminished and she eventually did not nurse. I spoke to a lactation consultant and I rented a hospital grade pump (medela) in early August. I have been pumping between 7 to 10 times per day and I only get 1 oz to 1.5 oz per session. Only at night 11-12 or 4-5 am I would get 2 to 2.5 oz. I have taken Reglan and more milk plus but it doesnt seem to help to increase my supply. Prior to renting the hospital grade I was using the free style Medela doble pump but I was getting even less breast milk. I still try to get my baby back to the breast but she just doesn’t want to. Is there anything else I could do??
Thank you
September 8th, 2011 at 3:13 pm
I love this website! I have a three month old daughter… while I was pregnant, I never bothered to take a breastfeeding class or research breastfeeding because I figured it would come natural. Well, just like everyone else that has commented here, it did not come naturally, but rather was a huge struggle. While we were able to get a latch, it was an extremely painful latch. I stuck to it for two weeks, hoping the pain would go away, but eventually had to stop because my nipples were so bruised/cracked/scabbed up that when she latched, the pain shot through my whole body.
I started EP’ing while I allowed my nipples to heal (same as Hana did above)…we syringe fed during that time. Once I healed up, I tried BF’ing again, and it was the same bad latch….only harder to get her on. Yes, like everyone else, I tried many different lactation consultants and different gadgets to get her to latch. The nipple shield worked, and I was so happy! I stopped with the pump, thinking we finally got this thing, and within three days, I had a screaming baby because my supply had nearly completely diminished. During that time, I had to go back to pumping every two hours to get it back….it came back, and that’s when I made peace to become an EP’er. Now I have an oversupply…which I am GRATEFUL for and definitely NOT complaining about.
While many people (lactation consultant, midwife, pediatrician) told me EP’ing isn’t a good option, I find it works for me. I get more sleep at night because I can feed the babe much quicker with a bottle than with breast, I am able to get help with feeding since others can bottle feed for me, and, now that I am at peace with the decision, I no longer stress about feeding the baby or feeling inadequate because I do not feed directly from my breast. Baby’s happy, and so am I. That’s all that matters….I wanted her to have the best possible start, and she is, just not in the traditional way. I take EP’ing day by day with the hopes of doing it for one year…one day at a time makes it feel less daunting! I am so happy for everyday I have the supply to do this!
To Hana, who asked for advice above: Though I have only been at this for three months, and am in no way an expert, I will tell you what I have learned through my own experiences and research. I know some people lose their supply from EP’ing after a few months, and some people do it a year. I think everyone’s body is different. For me, I get an oversupply from pumping (like I can feed triplets!) and when I actually BF, my supply always does an extreme dip because my baby doesn’t transfer enough food to demand my body to create more. If you are going to EP, you must be absolutely dedicated to pumping 6-8 times a day! Any less, and you run a huge risk of losing your supply. Remember that when your supply takes a dip, you can “demand” more by pumping more (although remember that it may take a day or two to see the results of the demand). Experiment with a pumping schedule to see what works for you. For me, if I pump every 2.5-3 hours during the day, I can get away with a seven hour stretch at night of no pumping to get some sleep (my baby is starting to sleep through the night, so this has been great). However, if she wakes up to eat during the night, I pump. I try to mirror my pumping to her feeding. Also, as my doctor told me, make sure you drink plenty of water to keep your supply up….I also drink a red raspberry leaf and nettle tea (you can google the benefits). If you don’t already have a really good pump, you’ll definitely need one. Check with your insurance, as mine paid for one. My pump (Medela Pump-in-Style) also has a battery pack, so I can pump while I am away from the house or from a plug-in. Seriously, I am not afraid to put on a nursing cover and pump in a parking lot or my in-laws living room! Lastly, if you want to BF, work with a lactation consultant….you never know, your son may someday latch beautifully and never look back. BUT if you have become accustomed and ok with EP’ing, that’s wonderful too, and don’t let anyone else tell you differently! GOOD LUCK!
September 26th, 2011 at 8:21 am
Thank you to all the women who have shared their stories on this site. It’s very helpful to have a forum to express frustrations that come with Breastfeeding/EPing. Sometimes I get very discouraged and feel alone in this journey even though I am married and have a decent support team. I am a mother of 5 - just gave birth to twins. None of my children have been able to latch on to bf so I have always Exclusively Pumped but as you can image this go around is quite different with twins. I can’t seem to keep up with my 6 week old babies. Unfortunately, I don’t have a surplus of milk stored up so when I don’t produce enough for a feeding, I have to suppliment with formula. This has been an issue for us because it reduces the frequecy of the babies bowel movements which seems to cause a great deal of discomfort for the my babies. Sometimes I feel like not going the long haul with EPing because I can’t seem to keep up but I know it’s what’s best for them but I need to find away to take formula out of the mix entirely to get them back regular.
October 28th, 2011 at 5:39 am
The day I decided to pump exclusively, I cried due to the loss of the expectation I had held so long of what breastfeeding was supposed to be. I felt like I had failed my baby.
I had trouble breastfeeding due to flat nipples, and a baby boy who was, as one lactation consultant called him, “a lazy sucker.” My son was born at 41 weeks. He didn’t have any health problems, but as the days went on, he started losing too much weight…our pediatrician said we would risk harming his brain development if we didn’t supplement with formula and encouraged pumping. When I started pumping, I had all intention of going back to breastfeeding once I got my milk supply up. However, with family coming and going in the home and the stress of caring for a newborn, I was never able to feel calm and secure enough to do it. My son would cry at the breast, and I would cry. I couldn’t take it anymore. I decided when he was 2 weeks old, to exclusively pump, and since then we have both been much happier. It’s annoying at times…even when my son sleeps through the night, I am woken up by breasts that need release, but it made transitioning back to work a lot easier. The only problem is that I have felt so alone in my decision. There are the women who breastfeed and the women who formula feed…no one ever talks about exclusively pumping…until I found this website yesterday. What a relief! Someone else gets me! Thank you for this website and thanks to all of the women who have shared their stories.
December 22nd, 2011 at 10:57 am
So nice to read the comments on this page and know I am not alone!
I am a first time mom and my son is going on 8 months now. He was born 3 weeks early (but already weighing 7 lbs!) via emergency c-section (tried everything, pushed for 3 hours, and still a no-go). Because of the c-section, my milk didn’t come in for a few days, and he also didn’t seem hungry in those first few days. I went to the lactation class and had a few lactation consultants visit me in the hospital, but nothing was very helpful. For almost 3 days, he basically ate nothing. I would try to express drops of colostrum into his mouth, but he just wouldn’t latch on…he was very sleepy. He lost weight daily. Once he hit 6 lbs, 7 oz. (lost some percentage of body weight which is a red flag), the hospital made me give him formula. I was so upset. I had started pumping, and I did the 3 hour cycle of skin-to-skin, try to latch, top off with expressed milk or formula, then pump…24 hours a day. He latched on well maybe once or twice in the hospital, but we could never seem to get the hang of it. My nipples are fine, but my breasts are very large, and they always threatened to smother him. I tried the football hold and 3 types of support pillows (cuddle-u, boppy, brest-friend), but things never really improved. On day 4, my milk came in, big time, and I was pumping a lot!
In the first few weeks at home, we tried and tried to BF, but he never latched on consistently and would pull off multiple times while feeding and have to be re-latched over and over. I spent whole days topless with the brest-friend pillow tied around me. My whole life, 24 hours a day, was nothing but trying to feed him (and pumping). I knew that I would eventually have to go back to work (I eventually went back after 17 weeks at home) and pump in the office, so after about 3 weeks of daily misery, I stopped trying to get him to latch and just let him drink breastmilk from the bottle, which is how he had been getting most of his nutrition anyway. We also let him have a pacifier, which made him prefer the rubber nipples even more.
By 4 weeks, I was EP, and have been since then. My supply is amazing…40 oz. a day. My schedule is pretty easy…since about 2 months in, I have been down to just 3 pumps a day (when I wake up, once at work, and before I go to sleep). The milk is nice and heavy, with a thick layer of cream. We have so much milk stored that we had to buy a massive stand-up deep-freezer to hold it…I am vacillating between donating the 2000+ oz. or saving up some more and feeding him a bottle of BM for his entire second year even after I quit pumping (I am thinking about starting to wean off the pump after he is 1 year old).
By the way, he is a big kid (at 1 month he was up from 7 lb birth weight to 10.5 lbs), and at 7 months he had tripled his birth weight to 21 lbs…he’s tall and solid and has massive, adorable, tree-trunk thighs. He’s also (thank God!) very healthy and has only had a fever once (for a day) and a runny/stuffy nose for 2-3 days, but never been sick apart from that. I think it’s a combination of having nothing but BM for 6 months (he’s eating some solids now, but is still taking 28 oz of BM a day in addition to cereal, fruit, veggies and meat), no formula, and being raised with 2 big dogs (which strengthens the immune system greatly).
I have felt a lot of guilt and disappointment and sadness over many things…I had wanted a natural, vaginal delivery, and ended up with pitocin and an epidural and then a c-section. I had wanted to breastfeed, and ended up EP (but at least not using formula). I am a working mom with a very demanding career (my husband is a stay-at-home dad), and I am always trying to spend more time with my son. I’ve ended up co-sleeping with him because it gives me more time to be close to him (and also because he’s been a pretty poor sleeper and doesn’t like his room/crib and I don’t have the heard to make him cry it out). But, despite everything, I know I am doing the best I can for him, feeding him only BM, and I feel like he and I are very bonded despite the fact that we don’t BF. I’ve tried, in the last 8 months, to show him the breast and see if he’ll take it, and he’ll sometimes suckle for comfort but never gets on nutritively. He’s a fussy eater anyway, and wants to be burped after every few oz., so he never drinks 6-8 oz. at a time like my friends’ kids, so I imagine if I was BF, he’d still be unlatching all the time to burp or take a long breath or whatever he likes to do. I have to put the bottle back in a dozen times to get a full meal into him…I can’t imagine having to re-latch him a dozen times for the same thing!
With my next, I will try BF again, although I’ll have to pump anyway when I got back to work. But maybe I’ll be able to BF in the mornings, evenings/nights, and weekends…which would be lovely.
Just wanted to tell you all to not be too hard on yourselves. Things are never perfect. You love your baby and are doing the best you can. EP is very hard and you should be proud you’re making that effort, instead of just switching to formula.