Why Women Choose to Exclusively Pump Breast MilkExclusively pumping breast milk is best thought of as an alternative to formula feeding. While there are some women who decide to exclusively pump even before their babies are born, they are by far the minority. Instead, most women who exclusively pump fully intended to breastfeed and believe strongly in the benefit and value of breast milk. When confronted with difficulties or situations that make breastfeeding difficult or impossible, these women turn to the use of a breast pump to ensure their babies receive breast milk. The reasons women exclusively pump are extremely varied: the premature birth of a baby; the illness of the baby or the mother; problems with breastfeeding including such things as a poor latch, thrush, cleft palate, poor weight gain, a lack of milk (either real or perceived), and the early introduction of a bottle leading to nipple preference; and the separation of mother and baby including women who must return to work soon after the birth of their babies. It is difficult to briefly discuss the many reasons women exclusively pump, but there do tend to be some similarities in most women’s experiences. Self-preservation is an often mentioned factor in the decision to exclusively pump. New mothers are overwhelmed with emotions. Hearing your baby scream every time you try to nurse, enduring extreme pain when nursing, or having a baby who is unable to get enough milk to satisfy her can add to an already tumultuous period. Also, for women who are breastfeeding, bottle feeding to top up the baby’s intake, and then pumping to maintain or increase supply while the baby learns to breastfeed or the mother is able to resolve difficulties she is experiencing, the cycle becomes overwhelming and, even with a strong support network, can make it extremely difficult to continue for very long. Often a mother is not able to truly focus on mothering and enjoying her new baby, and instead, is solely focused on providing nourishment. Life becomes consumed with feeding the baby, which can, in and of itself, add additional stress to the situation making breastfeeding all that more challenging. The decision to exclusively pump can, for some women, bring back a balance in their lives and in their household and enable them to refocus on their babies while continuing to feed their babies breast milk. The decision to exclusively pump is not made lightly. The vast majority of women who decide to exclusively pump do work with lactation consultants before making their decision. And although pumping and bottle feeding becomes the primary method of feeding, many women also continue to work on breastfeeding and solving problems that were making it difficult to breastfeed. Yet, even though the hope of exclusive breastfeeding may still remain when a woman starts to pump, many women do get to a point where they no longer attempt to breastfeed. Many struggle with the emotions they feel as a result of not breastfeeding and not having the breastfeeding relationship they thought they would have with their baby. For many, the strong emotions felt when they do not see success breastfeeding are too difficult to continue reliving over and over again. The disappointment and frustration often prove to be difficult to cope with on a continuing basis and as a result the decision to exclusively pump is made. Working with a lactation consultant during these first few weeks of pumping is extremely important if a transition to exclusive breastfeeding is desired and an important time for lactation consultants to maintain close contact with women in order to assist them to breastfeed successfully. Perhaps the strongest motivating factor for exclusively pumping is the strong belief that breast milk is the best way of nourishing a baby. Most women who exclusively pump do not feel that formula is an option; it is something they would prefer not to feed their babies. Therefore, when they are confronted with difficulties breastfeeding (or the inability to breastfeed), and are unable to resolve the situation, they turn to what is often in their minds, the only option available to them. If the women who exlusively pump did not have this as an option, their babies would most likely be switched to formula. Exclusively pumping is a viable alternative to formula feeding. Knowledge is key, however. A breast pump will not initiate or maintain a milk supply in the same manner as a baby. Women who have been able to exclusively pump long-term tend to follow a similar set of guidelines. Support and accurate information are extremely important indicators of success for women who are exclusively pumping. While breastfeeding is undoubtedly the best method of feeding a baby, the fact remains that certain circumstances make breastfeeding difficult, and, sometimes, women decide to bottle feed. The reasons for this decision and the emotions that surround the decision are varied, but in all cases, exclusively pumping can ensure that it is breast milk in the bottle instead of formula and provide more babies with the best start possible in life. Copyright Stephanie Casemore, 2004 30 Responses to “Why Women Choose to Exclusively Pump Breast Milk” Leave a Reply |
 
 
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December 15th, 2007 at 8:50 am
i just wanted to say thank you so much for this article! My son was born 10 weeks early and spent 8 weeks in the NICU. I exclusively pumped and nursed about 2 times a day in the hospital when he was about 5 weeks old. I fully intended to exclusively breastfeed him when I was home, however, my expectations were quickly shattered! He would SCREAM when I took him to my breast. My mom and husband would try to help but nothing would work. When the lactation people would come around, he did FINE!! It was very frustrating because it was like they didn’t believe me when I said he wouldn’t nurse! I would still try nursing him and have success a handful of times, but still, nothing consistent and he would be hungry a lot sooner than if i pumped and bottlefed him. So, he is 5 1/2 months old now and I am pumping as I type!
I actually tried nursing him yesterday and did ok on one side and when he stopped sucking and swallowing I pulled him off to burp him and he SCREAMED again! Another very emotional time, reliving all the memories as to why I pump!
However, there are very few people who actually understand why someone would pump and I have gotten a lot of slack from other moms who just cant understand why I won’t nurse. There are 2 ladies at my church who both pumped for 6 months for their babies who were in the hospital! I finally found women who could sympathize.
I have been discouraged lately because my supply seems to be decreasing. My son is eating all the time!! (And we praise God for it and know that He is healthy and growing! And that is the goal of pumping!!) But I am having a hard time keeping up.
Anyway, I just found this article extremely encouraging and hopeful and it was very good for me to read it! So, thank you SO much! Your insight is more valuable than you know!
July 11th, 2008 at 6:20 am
Why has it taken me five months to find this site?!!!! I’ve been trying google searches, sure that there must be some websites on exclusively expressing - and never has this site come up! It would be great if you can try and get it to come up on more web searches. Also, I talked to a breastfeeding councillor a few times, and she obviously hadn’t seen it, or I presume she’d have told me about it!
My daughter is now 5 months old and I have been exclusively expressing since she was 10 days - she just wouldn’t feed from me and I was getting more and more stressed and upset and in pain…. I tried repeatedly for the next 3 months to reintroduce the breast, but she just screamed every time she saw it! Luckily I’ve had an excellent supply and so, despite having some formula in the house for emergencies, I’ve never had to use it! I even have about a weeks worth of feeds in the freezer…
All what you say is so true and I have found it really depressing that my daughter want drink directly from me. But my bond with her is fantastic, I think truly believe that if I had continued trying to force her onto the breast, we’d have just ended up hating each other.
Feeding solely by expressing really is an effort - but it is an option, and it would be great if it were advertised as such - so many people switch quickly to formula, without even considering expressing. I was really reluctant to move to formula, so I set myself targets.. First, I planned to express for a month. Then it was two. Then it was four. Now I know I’ll express until 6 months, and I expect that, as long as my supply continues, I’ll carry on expressing a little bit until she’s a year… Certainly if I can continue until she’s only on 2 or 3 bottles a day (7 or 8 months, I guess), then I’ll just carry on until a year….
One of the main problems with expressing is you are rather chained to the house… It’s gradually become more acceptable to breastfeed in public, but express!!! I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to whip out my breastpump in public….
Ahh, having found you I could talk forever… I don’t know any other mothers who exclusively pump, and would love to find some that I could talk to and share ideas about pumps etc with…
Thanks for this site!
April 27th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
my son was born 5 weeks early, in the nusery they started giving him a pacifier and a bottle so i tried to breastfeed and he would not latch right so i have been pumping, i get a lot although hes only 4 days old im hoping eventually he will breastfeed too
July 27th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
My son is almost three weeks old and born a week overdue. He was put on formula supplement in hospital. The first day they even told me that he was burning too much energy breastfeeding. We continued to try and we were doing fairly well until last week when he suddenly refused to latch and would scream. I’ve got an appointment with a Newman clinic mid-August but that is so, so far away. EP has been what’s kept me from screaming my frustration and sadness while my husband is away at work. I might not be able to get him to nurse on the breast but I do find small comfort knowing I’m at least giving him breast milk.
July 30th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Thank G-d for this website! My son was born fullterm but with a diagnosis of Prader-Willi syndrome which results in low muscle tone and therefore a very weak suck. We attempt nursing at least once a day, but it does not go well because breastfeeding requires greater muscle tone than does bottle feeding. He was in the NICU for two weeks, and I have been exclusively pumping my milk for him. Formula was never an option for me, so pumping my milk is what I’ve been doing. Thanks for the info!
August 6th, 2009 at 10:18 am
A lot of what I read in this article reflects how I felt the first few months of my son’s birth. I wish I could have seen this site earlier. This is great!
August 20th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
My son was born 10 weeks pemature. He is almost 7 weeks old and still in the NICU. I have been EP for him since day 3. I try to put him to my breast at least once a day right now and he seems to do fine. I have been very woried that I will not produce enough milk when he comes home, but I hang in there and keep on pumping. I recently returned to work and I pump during my lunch and prep time (I am a teacher). It is difficult, I look at it as a part time/sometimes full time job. I am glad I found this site because reading that I am not the only one out here really helps! Keep on pumping, sisters!!!
August 24th, 2009 at 9:37 am
I gave birth 2 perfectly healthy girls in the last 2 years. I pumped exclusively for 6+ months for each because nursing was just too painful. I bled alot. I had seen several LCs and all of them chalked it up to “poor latch”. Pumping has been very tedious, frustrating, and time-consuming, but I think it has been well worth it. I have had absolutely no problem with supply. (I was making over 10 ounces per session by the time my 2nd baby was 1 week old). You just have to EP consistently and frequently enough (6-8x a day), but it takes serious DEDICATION. Most people who doubted me (and there were *ALOT*) are amazed that I’ve done it. I am very proud of myself for doing this.
September 30th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
My daughter was born June 30, 09. I BF her for the first 2 days while the nursing staff would give her bottles in the nursery because she was severely jaundiced. Well after the 2nd day she started having trouble latching on.I asked the nurses to stop with the bottles, but they insisted it was necessary (and I recently found out it was NOT necessary, needless to say I will NOT being having any of my next babies in that hospital). Well she finally developed a preference for the bottle and started refusing me all together. I worked with many lactation consultants and only one could ever get her to latch and feed, and she only did it that once. Well, I was not going to give my daughter formula. Why, when nature had allowed me to produce such a perfect nectar? I was going to somehow, someway get my milk into my baby. So I started pumping. She is 3 months old now and I still pump and will until she’s a year old. I still try daily to get her to latch on. She used to scream and now she just looks at me and smiles, never latches though. She has never had a drop formula. I only produce just enough for her each day, and I know one day she’ll need a bottle of formula, but until that day comes I’m satisfied with my milk being her sole source of nutrition. It’s a wholesome, fulfilling, feeling to know this precious angel is thriving because of my milk alone. Even if it comes from a bottle.
October 4th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
I am so glad to see I am not the only one! And to see that its possible to exclusively pump for as long as 1 year…thats good to know. My baby is 6 weeks old but I never mastered the right latch-on….so plenty of sore and cracked nipples later…..I have almost decided to epump. I’ll give it one last try with a lactation consultant, but is reassuring to know that epumping can and has worked for other moms and babies.
October 5th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
I exclusively pumped for 4 months with my son and had 2 months stored in the freezer. He had problems latching on, so thats why i ended up pumping, but it did enable me to get some good nights sleep by letting him spend the night with granparents. I now have a 4 week old girl and she is fussy after every feeding. My doctor is treating it as reflux for now, but i was wondering if anyone knew anything about the babies getting too much foremilk and not enough hindmilk. I know when i pump after i have slept for 6+ hours the first that comes out is very watery and blue in color (foremilk) I was just wondering if anyone thought maybe she was getting too much foremilk! It could very well be reflux (she’s only been on the medicine for 3 days now)
October 6th, 2009 at 8:43 am
Hi Kristin,
You don’t state specifically that you are pumping for your daughter, but I assume that you are? Generally with EPing, I would not be concerned about a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance- actually the terms are really misleading. You may want to read through the article “Critical Factors in Milk Production” on this site to get a better understanding of how fat is released into milk. If you are pumping frequently enough and are removing as much milk as possible each time you pump, there shouldn’t be a problem with milk that does not have enough fat.
You are right that when you are really full- for example first thing in the morning- the milk that is first expressed will be thinner, having less fat. But as you continue to pump, the fat will begin to release into the milk and continue to increase. It is good practice to mix milk from the same session to ensure an equal distribution of fat, however, again as long as you are emptying as fully as possible when you pump, throughout the day it will all even out.
Don’t forget that most babies do go through a increased fussy period starting around 2 weeks of age, peaking at aroung 6 weeks of age, and ending usually around 3-4 months of age. While reflux is certainly possible ( my son had very severe reflux), some of the fussiness may be within this “normal”. Some things to consider are using a soother to allow your baby to continue sucking (since babies have a strong need to suck, babies who are bottle fed may need the additional stimulation of a pacifier and using a soother can sometimes help babies with reflux); wear your baby in a sling, wrap or other type of carrier (the upright position and pressure on the tummy may help to allieviate any discomfort and the motion is very soothing); try swaddling as a means of calming. I highly recommend Dr. Harvey Karp’s book, “The Happiest Baby on the Block”.
Hope that helps.
Best wishes,
Stephanie
October 13th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
Wow, glad to know that I am not alone. I have been exclusively pumping for my two daughters and always thought that I was not a good mother or something. But my daughters are flourishing now - I pumped for more than 6 months for my 1st daughter. For my youngest (just two months), she has been fed on breastmilk and she is now growing big and healthy.
November 10th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
I’m so glad I found this site. I am 34 weeks pregnant, and will be having my little girl in 4 weeks (scheduled c-section). I was just talking with someone and told them that I want to breastfeed while in the hospital, but then when we get home i want to EP. I want to breastfeed in the hospital so I get that bonding with her (this is going to be my last baby). But then I want to EP when we get home so we know how much milk shes getting, so my husband can feed her as well, and so when I go back to work 8 weeks after shes born its not a shock to her to have a bottle. The lady I spoke with rather upset me and made me feel like a horrible mother. She told me I should atleast BF for 3 weeks, thats the least I could do, because babies need atleast 3 weeks to learn how to BF correctly. I said excuse me? thats the least I could do? What do you mean by that? I will be getting the breast milk to my daughter, just in a different way. and this way my husband and my daughters grandparents can bond with her too and give me a break. I know it’s going to take alot of dedication and I have to be very self-disciplined, but this is my decision. I’m so glad I found this site because it makes me feel alot better about my decision and I know I’m not a bad mother for choosing this.
December 2nd, 2009 at 10:31 pm
My baby is 3 1/2 months old now and I have been pumping since he was two days old. I had always thought that I would BF my baby, but unfortunately was not able to. I just about went crazy the first few weeks, trying to get him to latch and feed, pumping, then supplementing with the expressed milk because he could not get enough from BF. I was lucky to get 2 consecutive hours of sleep a night, my whole life consisted of trying to get him to nurse. I finally made the decision to EP and life got so much easier. I did not have the support of anyone other than my parents and it was a very difficult time for me. I still am disappointed that I could not BF my baby, but I know that it is not about what is best for me, but what is best for my baby. We are both much happier with this arrangement, I hope to be able to continue until he is a year old, I keep telling myself I can do it for another month, and I’ve already met that goal 3 times! Thank you for the support, it’s nice to know that I’m not alone in my experience.
December 5th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
It is such a relief to find this site. My son is 4 weeks old and has had difficulty latching on. I feel that the hospital staff were partially responsible for this. As I had an emergency c-section they were taking him from me the first few nights and giving him top up formula. This resulted in him preferring the bottle. After three days of frustration and upset for me and my son I decided to pump as a temporary measure for a few weeks with the intention of getting him to feed from the breast again but as time goes on this is becoming less likely. He is a hungry baby and likes the fast flow of a bottle. It is also comforting to know how much he is drinking.
At first I couldn’t see EP lasting long term bacause of the huge commitment it requires. EP should be promoted more as an option to women when BF doesn’t work out or is not possible. When I first decided to EP I felt like a failure that BF did not work out. EP was never mentioned to me as a long term option but I am comforted to find others who have made EP work for them.
December 7th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Yes I too am glad I found this site. I am exclusively pumping and have done so when my daughter was 2 weeks old. She is only 3 weeks now. I decided to pump because I could see how much milk she was getting it made me feel better knowing she got what i thought was a decant amount. I do get a touch of the guilts for not breastfeeding her as I didn’t have any problems with latching or anything..
I just felt she wasn’t getting enough. I do however BF her every so often, Just not as much as I bottle feed her.
I just wish I didn’t feel so guilty for pumping! At least she is getting breast milk though.. Rite?
December 7th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
Stephanie, OMG! I’m so glad I stumbled upon your website today. I’m a first time mom of a full term 3 week old baby girl (she weighed 9lbs 12oz!) Since I had an unplanned c-section, my milk came in later. I was under the impression from reading various BF books and from LCs that I had to still go through the motion of BFing in order to establish milk supply. I would BF for 20-30 mins, then bottle feed formula, put baby to sleep and then pump for 15mins. This routine took a little over an hour. Then I would repeat 2 hours later, 8x/day.
Soon, I was pumping from 1 teaspoon to now about 2-3oz/session. However, I still had to bottle feed BM since daughter would suck on breast for awhile and then fall asleep, then wake up about 10 mins later crying since she didn’t get enough BM at the breast. This week I had been thinking, there’s got to be a hybrid solution. That’s when I found about about EPing! Contrary to my prior belief, it seems like women can produce enough BM via EP without having to go through Breastfeeding simulation. This will help me gain at about 4 extra hours/day by skipping the BFing part of my routine.
Yay! I feel that this is the right balance for me. I actually like pumping. Besides, knowing how much BM my daughter is drinking, I have been using my pumping time to surf the internet, do online shopping, write out thank you and Xmas cards. Pump on! I’ve got to tell my hospital that they need to discuss EPing as an option.
December 9th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Karen - you just summed it up PERFECTLY re: our situation as well. We tried everything to get him to latch - hospital LC, private LC, SnS, nipple shields etc, with no luck.
It was actually a relief when I made the decision to EP. I dreaded feeding time, the screaming when he couldnt get milk fast enough etc etc. In the end, it was the best decision for our little family.
Its still seriously hard work EP but I’ve made two months and intend to continue as long as my supply will let me.
December 16th, 2009 at 5:11 am
Hello again! I left a message a couple weeks ago when I was still pregnant. Baby is now here. She is a week old now. I just wanted to share that my EP’ing is going very well. I tried to get her to latch on in the hospital after she was born and she just wouldn’t latch. It turned out, about 36 hours after she was born, she was having fast breathing and chest retractions, so they did a chest x-ray and found out she had pneumonia. She inhaled some fluids during/after the c-section. They had her in the nursery on machines for about 24 hours. When she got back to our room, I eventually got her to latch on with alot of help, shields, nurses helping me, we tried everything and she latched on for a few minutes and nursed, but I dont know if she got very much, and it was frustrating and she was hungry. I think she was just having a hard time at first because of her breathing and we just didn’t know it then. But after her breathing was better I still had a hard time, so I think EP’ing would have been the best option anyway, even if I hadn’t pre-planned it. So while she was on oxygen in the nursery I pumped and did little by little. Its very discouraging at first, because you literally only get a couple drops at first. I had to measure and log it by mL’s. Now, I am pumping every 3-4 hours and I get about 5-7 ounces every time. I have about 4- 8 oz bottles in the fridge right now, just waiting for her, and I’ll start freezing soon. If anyone has advice on freezing the milk, I’d be very appreciative if you’d share. I don’t know what’s the best way, or most efficient way to do that. and I dont know how to thaw it out and use it after its frozen. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for this website. This website gave me the last boost of confidence I needed before I had her. I think this site has a HUGE part on my success EP’ing. You have to be very self-disciplined and make sure you keep a schedule (its very hard to get up in the middle of the night), but when I remind myself that what I am doing is one of the best things I can offer my child, it makes it easy. Sorry to ramble on. Just wanted to share my story and tell everyone thank you.
December 27th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
thanks for the site. before giving birth I said I would give breastfeeding 2 weeks and if it ended up being too stressful (since it seems the majority of people I knew had problems breastfeeding) I would quit. I was not breastfed and I am thin, healthy, never sick and a physician — so I turned out ok. So then why do I feel guilty about EPing?
I guess I had heard about EPing prior to birth from a friend whose sister had 3 kids and one she had to EP. I had rented a pump from the hospital anyway and when the pain from BF never went away despite LC, breast shells, proper latch, etc, I started to alternate one BF with one pump. The BF sessions were just too stressful and painful and I felt this was NOT quality time with my little one. So it then led to EP only in the last couple days (she is 17 days old now). I have struggled with this, but after reading other peoples experiences, I think it won’t take long for me to just accept it. I guess being an over-achiever I feel like I failed at BF and there should be a way to fix it. But sometimes it just is what it is. Only problem now is that my supply seems to be going down. I was getting 4oz and now only 2.5oz with the right side significantly less than the left. Not sure why but will try to work on (more water, fenugreek?). So hopefully that won’t ruin it and send me to formula, but if it does, I still have to remember I turned out great without a drop of breast milk.
December 28th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Hi Christina,
Congratulations on the birth of your baby girl! I’m sorry to hear about your difficulties breastfeeding. Unfortunately, you are certainly not the only new mom who has found information and support lacking. I really encourage you to keep seeking out support and help. You sound as though you do really wish to breastfeed your baby. Not all lactation consultants are the same- some are much better than others and much more knowledgeable. At only 17 days post-partum, you have time on your side.
You ask why you feel guilty about EPing. First off, guilt is a commonly reported emotion. Sometimes it is guilt and often it is grief. You have expectations during pregnancy and when they do not come about you are often left with grief over the loss of what you had hoped/expected to happen. Guilt is more appropriate when you are doing something other than what you know you should do. I always tell women that if they have honestly done all they can to make it work, then they should not feel guilty. More appropriate I think would be anger at the society that makes breastfeeding so difficult through lack of support, the marketing of formula and bottles as normal, among other things.
Breastfeeding is a biologically expected activity. There is a biological expectation for a mother to nurture and nourish her babies at her breast; it is why we are mammals. There are many reasons beyond simple nutrition for breastfeeding. As new mothers, we are primed hormonally to breastfeed and bond with our babies, and I think when this doesn’t happen we, somewhere deep in our being, recognize the loss of what is intended.
In regards to your supply concerns, it is vital that you are pumping frequently and for long enough periods per session. At 17 days, and with concerns, I would recommend pumping no less than 8 times a day for about 15-20 minutes/session. It is also very important to be using a high quality double electric breast pump. You mention renting a pump from a hospital, so I wouldn’t think your pump should be a problem, but it is always important to ensure it is working effectively. There are still many things that can be done to increase your milk supply at this stage.
Again, thank you for your comment.
Best wishes,
Stephanie
January 12th, 2010 at 7:29 pm
Sheila,
I EP’ed for reasons similar to yours. I wanted my husband to be able to feed my son as well and wanted a way to keep track of how much he was eating, etc. I developed high blood pressure after he was born and had to be re-hospitalized and one of the meds was incompatible with nursing so I ended up pumping and dumping for a while. Eventually he was getting my milk exclusively and I was a serious producer. I used the hospital grade pump and until I learned to slow down was producing a gallon a day!
Anyway, we would freeze the milk in those Medela bags. A regular freezer attached to a fridge allows you to keep it for I think 4 or 6 weeks. A deep freezer allows you to store milk for 6 months. We used both. I’d pump and any excess would go into the freezer with a date on it. We’d pull some of those when necessary and let them thaw in the fridge before giving the milk to my son. We had a bottle warmer to bring cold milk to a nicer temp. Thawed breast milk smelled a little funky, but it didn’t slow him down.
I pumped from June-December but my son had my milk until February. Near the end we alternated milk and formula and eventually just went to formula. I had so much frozen milk that was going to expire that I actually donated quite a bit to a local milk bank!
I liked pumping while on the internet - it was my quiet time and if my son was hungry or fussed while I was attached to the machine, it was my husband’s turn to feed him. I’m lucky enough to work in an office with a locking door and a fridge so I pumped when I returned to work as well. I really liked it.
I recommend the book “The Milk Memos” as well. Good luck!
January 12th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
Oh, just to offer an example of the “rare” type - I knew I was going to EP while I was still pregnant (even before I got pregnant). I didn’t want to nurse, I had issues about it (and a friend who was really trying to push me into it) and EP’ing was my compromise. I did try nursing after he was born and he latched fine, but what can I say? I didn’t like it. When he fed, I felt like I was physically stuck in a situation I couldn’t control. I’d get antsy and frustrated and would sometimes cry. I didn’t want a little person attached to me, drinking from me. I realize these aren’t “natural” responses in some people’s opinions, but natural or not, I really disliked it. Pumping didn’t bother me. Feeding my son from a bottle didn’t bother me. So EP’ing allowed me to give him breastmilk, but in a way I didn’t resent or feel trapped by.
He’s now 19 months, super tall and strong with a silly streak and a wonderful vocabulary. We share lots of hugs and kisses.
January 19th, 2010 at 10:48 am
Deana, I am so glad to read what you have written and that I am not the only one who feels the way I do about nursing. For me it seems strange to feel that something that is suppose to be so natural seems so un-natural.
I am not a mother, and do not plan to be for a very very long time. However my boyfriend’s brother and sister-in-law have recently had a baby. She is nursing and a very good friend of mine had her third breastfed child around the middle of last year. I was in her hospital room visiting when the LC came in. I had mentioned to my friend that I have no desire to nurse my baby when I have one, even though it’s probably the most natural way to feed a baby, it seems very un-natural and strange to me. I felt guilty about that because I have always known the benefits of breastmilk vs. formula. She assured me there was nothing wrong with that and the formulas now have wonderful nutrients. I still felt that I wouldn’t be doing enough for my baby. And after listening to the LC speak to my friend about breastfeeding I felt even more guilty.
Back to my boyfriend’s sister-in-law. Being around a mother who is breastfeeding has further helped my decision to not breastfeed. I do not like the idea that anytime I am somewhere I will need to leave whatever is going on to be alone for long periods of time and feel it would make me feel secluded. However, more and more I felt that it is very important to try to feed my child breastmilk because of all the benefits. So I thought about just pumping and storing it. Today I was looking up benefits for breastfeeding and came across this “exclusive pumping” and I thought “Thank goodness I am not the only one!” And even though there are several different reasons for EPing from everyone, and several different reasons that I have chosen this option I’m comforted to know that there is this option that many other women have chosen and when I do have a child there is support out there. After reading about this most of the day I have decided that I am not completely dismissing the idea of breastfeeding, like some of the mothers had mentioned I may try it while in the hospital just to get the experience but will most likely switch to EP once at home.
I also had a question regarding EP that I have not been able to find the answer to anywhere. There are benefits of breastfeeding for the mothers also. Some are listed as helping with post-baby weight loss, helping the uterus to shrink, helping the muscles of the abdomen, and others. I was wondering if EPing would also provide these benefits?
I am sorry to have written such a long post and not even able to contribute any useful information. I just wanted to express a “Thanks” for helping to make me to feel better about my decision.
February 20th, 2010 at 7:59 pm
I’m so grateful to have found this resource and others on the web. After two weeks of trying to master the latch and several visits with multiple LC’s, my poor nipples were just TORN up. My OB/GYN suggested I lay off breastfeeding for a few days to let myself heal…but my little baracuda did so much damage, a few days just didn’t cut it, and a week later, I decided I would just stick with exclusive pumping. Luckily my pediatrician fully supports this decision, admitting that she, herself, never loved breastfeeding! I had no idea so many emotions would play into this decision - as painful as breastfeeding was, I still long for it to have worked out, but, almost two weeks into EPing, my nipples STILL aren’t 100% back to “normal” - I know I made the right decision for ME. I guess being a mother is such a selfless expression, making a decision like this for myself feels a little selfish, but…that’s just foolish talk, I know. It’s so wonderful to know that there are others out there who are making this work. ANd now that I have an extension cord long enough to reach to the computer to read websites like this one, I think my pumping will go much easier!! Good luck to you all, and thanks for your support.
February 20th, 2010 at 10:26 pm
I too can’t believe it took me 5 1/2 months to find this! My baby was born 11 weeks early, and she did well with breast feeding 2 times a day after the first month in the NICU. But… 2 months later, I brought her home, and though I tried at home, it wasn’t overly successful. I don’t have any support at home, my husband works out of town and I don’t have any family to help… so… for me to try to breast feed, and then to pump afterwards to maintain a supply really took up my entire day. I wasn’t eating, sleeping, showering (eeww gross but true).. and worst of all, my baby was miserable. I slowly turned to the bottle… and eventually, I was EP’ing. I didn’t want to, but, that’s how things started out. I have a huge supply and for my tiny preemie at the beginning, she wasn’t able to keep up. With that came mastitis, several bouts of it… and so EP’ing made even more sense. Now that I’m EP’ing, no more mastitis. Sterilizing sucks for sure, but, I have time now to enjoy my daughter.
Thanks so much Stephanie for this article. I’m going to make everyone I know read it, or at least those people who are wondering why I’m not breast feeding. I feel like I’m constantly being judged not only by friends and family, but, by nurses and doctors as well. Thank God my daughter’s doctor isn’t like that, he’s pretty supportive… but.. she has several doctors and nurses still, and each time we see them, I feel like I’m being grilled as to why I’m still EP’ing and not breast feeding. My point… it’s nice for you to write an article like this, and allow us to comment. Just reading the other mom’s comments have made me feel so much better, and so much less guilt.. and … not so alone. I can’t thank you enough.
February 23rd, 2010 at 8:19 pm
i am going thru a dilemma at the moment. i have been able to breastfeed my 8 week old son without complication. i feed him about 7 times in 24 hours and i express some milk into a botle, which my husband gives to him for the night feed. i have found breastfeeding to be exhausting, time consumming, annoying and uncomfortable. i dislike the time it takes for my son to feed (just over an hour for both breasts), and my posture during feeds makes me feel back pain when he is feeding… any other posture (apart from hunched over) and he just wont latch on. i also require a nursing pillow to feed to keep him on the breast, as cradling him for too long puts strain on my arms and shoulders. i have been seriosly considering exclusivley pumping and giving milk via a bottle- but i feel SOOO guilty - the fact that i can still carry on doing breastfeeding, but i dont want to. the guilt of it all is in fact making me not exclusively pump! its just that i identify breastfeeding as being a good mother, giving my milk to my son is something noone else can do, but me. it makes me feel that i am the most important thing in his life, more important than anybody else. im just waiting for a good enough excuse to exclusively pump, but for the meantime, i will be breastfeeding, even though i just dont enjoy it like other mums.
February 23rd, 2010 at 8:26 pm
When my first child was born, she had a very difficult time latching on, but with the help of several LC’s in the very pro-breastfeeding hospital where I had her, I did get her to nurse, but with a poor latch. She did gain weight but slowly. One day I asked the nurse at my pediatrician’s office about EP and she told me it’s possible and they do have moms who do it, but that it is extremely exhausting b/c when you are not pumping, you are giving the baby the bottle so it’s double work. So I dropped the idea of EP right there and thankfully was able to breastfeed my daughter for 16 months, and to the last day she had a poor latch but she did get the milk out. Anyway, my point is that if for some reason feeding her from my breast didn’t work out, I probably would have went to formula b/c I was discouraged from EP. I breastfed both of my children and only pumped occasionally (I am a SAHM) but now three years after the fact, I have learned by reading this website that the option to EP is feasible and doable, where I was told that it was not. To all of you moms who EP, good for you for your dedication to your children, to giving them the best start in life with your milk.
February 24th, 2010 at 8:56 am
Dear Emily,
Congratulations on the birth of your son! I’m sorry to hear that you are having some concerns with breastfeeding. I think there are a couple important things that you bring up in your comment. I will start with the last point you make. You say that “for the meantime, i will be breastfeeding, even though i just dont enjoy it like other mums.” I think our society has set up a dangerous expectation making mothers believe that breastfeeding is always a wonderful, enjoyable, lovely, experience. It certainly is at times, but it isn’t always wonderful. I nursed my second child for 3 years, and there were certainly times that I couldn’t stand the idea of continuing. But I did and I’m very glad I did. Problems can come and then usually go. Just as with everything, there is good and bad. Enjoy the good and try to minimize the bad. Ultimately, breastfeeding is about providing nourishment to your baby and providing the biologically normal method of nutrition via a delivery method that maximizes its potential and that potential includes the attachment that is made easier through the direct contact of nursing and the hormones involved during this process. If you think about other mammals, I doubt any of those mothers are nursing their babies because they believe it is something they are meant to enjoy; instead they do it because that’s how nature has provided a means to feed their babies. So I guess what I’m saying is not to feel you are doing something wrong if you don’t love breastfeeding your baby and don’t believe that every other mother loves it either. There is a balance to everything.
The second thing you mention that made me take notice was the length of time it is taking your son to feed as well as your discomfort while nursing. A baby, especially your son’s age, should not be taking over an hour to finish nursing. I would wonder if he is having problems latching or for some reason there is poor milk transfer. Have you ever had a consultation with a lactation consultant (IBCLC)? I would strongly encourage you to seek out a consult with a qualified and experienced lactation consultant. They should be able to assess your baby’s latch and milk transfer and also watch your own position and posture when nursing to help you get more comfortable. Often with just little tweaks in position, you can become much more comfortable and your baby’s milk transfer can greatly improve.
Have you tried nursing lying down? This is the best thing ever! Prop some pillows behind you to support to and make sure your baby is positioned slightly under the breast so he has to reach up to latch and he gets a nice deep latch and then relax. This is definitely something a lactation consultant can help with. Another thing that may be helpful is to try nursing using a sling. This can allow for hands-free nursing and allow you to straighten up and get rid of the back and shoulder pain. Look around in your area for babywearing groups or businesses selling (and teaching how to use) baby carriers. Another thing to consider is attending a La Leche League meeting.
Hang in there. Mothering tends to be a very selfless endeavour. Whatever decision you do finally make, make it from a position of calm and with perspective. Breastfeeding is emotional; mothering is emotional! The first couple of months breastfeeding and mothering are most definitely the hardest and often things start to ease up after that. It will get better- eventually
I always believe that when a person is making the right decision for them, it will feel right. It may not be what you wanted, but it will feel right. I encourage you to wait for that moment.
Best wishes,
Stephanie