Your input is needed- Breastfeeding the second time around…Interested in sharing your thoughts with me about breastfeeding the second time around? It seems as though we have been missed! Those of us who have had a challenging time of breastfeeding but really want to breastfeed the next baby have been forgotten. We have our own unique challenges when it comes to breastfeeding a new baby. Whether you have had another baby after having breastfeeding challenges with the first, or you are hoping for another baby some day and are already concerned about breastfeeding, read on… When I got pregnant with my second child, my very first thought after the initial “oh my goodness!” was “I wonder if I’ll be able to breastfeed this baby?”. Worrying about the fact that I had been induced at 31 weeks due to severe preeclampsia and the high risk of a reoccurence came a distant third or maybe even forth in terms of initial thoughts. Breastfeeding consumed me! Thankfully, I was able to have a very successful breastfeeding relationship with my daughter (who weaned at 3 years and 2 months), but the worry and stress during pregnancy and over the first few months of her life was extreme. It was so important to me that it work this time around but the fear of it not working- and not knowing if I could EP again with another child in the house- was always hanging over me. So, I have decided to write another book. A book that I have not come across, but one that needs to be available to mothers such as myself-and to you. A book that deals with breastfeeding after difficulty. A book that will talk not so much about the mechanics of breastfeeding- that’s already available in many forms- but a book that discusses the emotional side of breastfeeding, the grief and emotions felt when breastfeeding doesn’t work out, and the concerns that are felt when considering breastfeeding a new baby after a difficult experience. Would you like to share your own experiences? I would love to hear your thoughts on this project. Please consider emailing me or leave a comment below. Thanks! Stephanie 27 Responses to “Your input is needed- Breastfeeding the second time around…” Leave a Reply |
 
 
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October 9th, 2009 at 8:41 am
I think that book is a great idea, Stephanie. I hope you write it. Opal…. IBCLC in NJ
October 10th, 2009 at 6:54 am
Hi, I breastfed second time around but with the same child! I think the technical term for this is relactation. Would this be of any interest to you or are you specifically looking for Mums who’ve subsequently had another child?
October 13th, 2009 at 11:58 pm
The book sounds like a great idea.
And yes, this book is definitely needed for moms who want to breastfeed but couldn’t. I tried breastfeeding my second daughter, but she refused to latch on like her big sister.
October 17th, 2009 at 8:02 am
i would love a book about this. i’m pregnant with my second (due in dec!) and my first baby would not nurse. she would scream at the breast. with the help of my awesome LC, I EP’d for almost ten months for her. through the use of sign language, we eventually got her back on the breast. she either weaned herself or my milk dried up a short 3 months later :/ I’m filled with anxiety about the second one. I try hard not to think about it though, positive energy and all
October 19th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
I would also like someone to explore any potential reasons why some babies don’t latch to the breast. Both my children had extreme latch issues, my first born being the worst. And I could never come to terms with the unknown why. Why is this so hard for me and not others. Is there something wrong with the shape of my nipples, or is it something with my children genetically. My first born was actually diagnosed with an oral delay in the first few months and had to go to therapy for it. She is perfectly normal now. But my struggles with my second still remain a mystery. I know there are a variety of reasons why women find themselves EPing, but there are alot of us with children who couldn’t latch for an unknown reason.
October 23rd, 2009 at 8:40 am
Yes, this would be helpful. I often here BF’ing moms say it’s easier with the second child, but I doubt that includes me, since my son never really took to the breast. How do I overcome these challenges for my next child? What caused these problems, and what can I do differently? (Will doing anything differently help?) Even if a book can’t solve our problems, I would appreciate reading the thoughts and experiences of other moms like me.
October 23rd, 2009 at 3:07 pm
This sounds like a fantastic idea for a book. I think it is often overlooked in the breastfeeding world. I was not able to breastfeed my daughter beyond 5 months and it has left me feeling endless guilt…I still (even now that she is 2.5 years) have to hold back tears when I see other moms breastfeeding. I don’t think that I will have trouble breastfeeding a second time around because I now know where to go for support–and I know to ask a lot sooner. But I was not aware of the resources last time…
November 16th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
People dont seem to like talking about when breast feeding doesnt work…and most assume if it doesnt you lazy. I had a successful breast feeding baby, one who wouldnt who I was only able to EP(didnt have a good pump and didnt have good resourses) for 2 months. then 2 succsesful breast fed and now another who seems to not being able to breast feed. This time I am hoping a better pump as we try to EP as I really do think breast milk is the best.
I would love to see more information out there so moms dont feel alone there is so much stress on a new mom whether your first or your fifth.
December 3rd, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Wow! You just summed up exactly what I have been feeling with this sentence, “…or you are hoping for another baby some day and are already concerned about breastfeeding,…”. I have been exclusively pumping with my first child for over 4 months and I really hope to be able to have the breastfeeding experience with my second child and I have so much anxiety not only over whether I will be able to but that we are only planning one more child and it would be my last chance.
December 6th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
I would be so thankful for a book about the topic. I was a complete failure with my first and in hindsight think I quit early out of frustration and fear that she was “starving.” With my second I read everything imaginable and got myself into a worked up mess. He was actually able to latch, unlike my first but had demands far above my production. Well, I only gave it 48 hours after being home and again feared my precious one was “starving.” Now, I am trying for a third and again fearful that the inevitable will happen and I will fail once again. Third time is a charm. I so hope it will be different this time and this baby will latch…and perhaps I’ve learned that he/she won’t starve in the first few days…maybe I can even find a lactation consultant to help me this time. But, I digress…a book would be amazing. A collection of narratives from women in the same situation cold be uplifting and insightful. Kudos to you!
January 12th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
I had extremely hard time nursing my first son and so stressed about it that I landed in a psych hosp. for couple days. So determined to nurse the second babe, I educated myself, got all the nurs. pillows and tools and it wouldn’t work again. Pain, pain, and even more excruciating pain. Yeast infection now going on for 3+ months for me and the baby as well. I think that needs to be addressed for 2nd time around mom’s. Sometimes the body just doesn’t cooperate. Physical maladies are real. EPing now for almost 4 months and totally fine with it.
February 1st, 2010 at 3:13 am
I think this would be a wonderful resource. I am now exclusively pumping for the second time. Both my sons would not attach despite so many efforts. The second time round has been very emotional as I slowly come to accept this is happening again. I find it completely exhausting and yet know it is the best thing I can do for my beautiful son. I wish I had discovered this site earlier and sitting here tonight reading all this wonderful information has had me in tears. Best wishes
Emma
February 11th, 2010 at 8:32 am
yes, yes, yes! i have been ep’ing for the last 3 months and am finding it harder and harder to find the time the busier my little guy gets. it was such a hard decision for me to transition to ep’ing, i spent many nights weeping and truthfully changed my mind on a daily basis but i finally decided i was driving myself crazy and getting angry at a three week old. didn’t make sense. So I switched and couldn’t be happier. I am already thinking about my next babe and the idea of not being able to nurse breaks my heart just thinking about it. i was so relieved to find this site tat i would love to find a book about this!
February 19th, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Great idea! I ended up EPing with my first baby due to latch problems. I made it 11 months before being told I had to give it up…I was in the hospital having emergency gallbladder surgery and also found out I was pregnant with baby #2!!! I was so disappointed not to make it to my year goal …but, a year later I now have a 2 year old and a 6 month old who I am also EPing for by choice.I struggled with the thought of breastfeeding, but found that pumping was actually easier since they are only 17 months apart! I WILL make it a year this time around!
March 23rd, 2010 at 1:37 pm
Please write this book. I am EP now and I want to cry everytime I pump. I want to know that there is hope that I won’t have to do this with any more children. I wanted 5 kids, but with the toll his feeding has taken on me, I can’t even think about another. Even reading about this makes me feel a little bit better. I think it will give a lot of women hope that it does work and when it doesn’t there shouldn’t be so much guilt.
May 10th, 2010 at 11:13 am
Stephanie, I am a lactation consultant and a great fan of yours. There is still a lot we don’t know even about normal breastfeeding, and much more to figure out about what’s going on when it doesn’t work. Meanwhile, moms have to get on with taking care of themselves and their babies 24 & 7, whether or not they are able to find someone who can help them with their bf challenge. It’s obvious from the comments here that women feel very strongly about this. You have a gift for seeing the gaps in information and support available to moms, and for encouraging them to tell you about their experience. I say Go for it!
September 22nd, 2010 at 12:14 pm
This sounds like it could be such a great support. I’ve been EPing for 2.5months after our son was finally diagnosed with dysphagia. After seeing him choke and turn blue several times per feeding, I cringe at the thought of trying to go through that with another baby and coming to the same conclusion. EPing is incredibly stressful for me (finding time/location, grieving the loss of physical contact with my LO, sharing the joy of feeding baby with other family members, watching him take a bottle when I wanted so badly to nurse, ETC!) but I am committed to providing him nature’s best food! But I’m so worried about our next baby going through similar struggles…I wonder if I could do this again?
October 7th, 2010 at 10:06 pm
Hi, I am so excited for this next book! Thanks to your first book, I was able to EP for 6 months after my first child was born with Down syndrome. I am now pregnant with baby #2 and although this one is reportedly without health issues (my 1st had a heart defect and needed open-heart surgery), I am still nervous about what breastfeeding will be like this time. I want desperately to breastfeed for at least a year, but I do worry that if I run into any problems, then I’ll get psyched out and think that I won’t be able to do it again. I’m afraid to discover that it was me (my weakness, my lack of willpower) and not my daughter’s health problems that led us to EP as a last resort before formula.
There is a definite need for this next book! When will it be published??
October 27th, 2010 at 10:05 pm
With my first, we had latch problems plus I was told to feed on demand by her pediatrician, which just killed my milk supply. Now with the second, we still have latch problems so I am EPing, but with a structured schedule have been able to make the milk supply come in nicely. I actually pump more than what she needs, so I am able to give some to my first-born since she got so very little from me in the beginning. I was really anxious about trying to make breastmilk for the second baby since it was such a failure with the first, but feel more educated and prepared, and obviously knowledge pays off.
October 28th, 2010 at 7:06 am
Your book idea sounds fabulous. I did the breastfeed & pump nightmare for 3 months before I had a near mental breakdown and switched to E.P.ing. I have been at it for a year and will probably continue for a second year, thanks to my son’s severe dairy allergy. The stress of the breastfeeding failure, pumping and dietary restrictions have left me wondering if I even want to have another child. Just thinking about a second and the possibility of similar breastfeeding issues makes me break out in a sweat. I can’t imagine how anxious I will be should I actually become pregnant. Please, please, write the book.
December 17th, 2010 at 8:50 pm
I would love a book like this. It would offer a lot of support to so many of us that have anxiety after not having success the first time round. My first was traumatizing in the bfing aspect. We saw numerous lactation consultants, actual breastfeeding specialist doctors, midwives to no avail,eventually the breastfeeding specialist dr told me to just pump as I was in tears every time the baby would cry at the breast,I felt so rejected and heart broken. I exclusively pumped for the first six months and now just pump a few times a day and do half half with formula. But I dont’ see how I would have time to exclusively pump again the second time around and feel so strongly that breast milk is the healthiest. I have a lot of anxiety about the second time around so a book would be really appreciated and so needed.
February 21st, 2011 at 1:27 am
Reading through these commments makes me realise I am not alone in feeling this way. I’ve been EP’ing for my son for 18 of his 21 weeks, due to latch problems - extreme pain for me! I so badly wanted to breastfeed and have ongoing feelings of guilt when I consider giving up pumping. All of this combined makes me terrified of what will happen when we have another! I’m so scared it will all happen again and I’m not sure I would be able to EP again, especially with 2 children.
February 23rd, 2011 at 1:21 pm
I just had my second baby and would have loved to have a book like this. Due to latching issues, I nursed my first child for 2 wks and then EP’d for 11 1/2 months. I was nervous about breastfeeding with my second one, but with the help of a lactation consultant and great nurses, I have been breastfeeding my new baby for over 3 months. A book on this subject would have gave me even more confidence to know even if nursing didnt work the first time around, didnt mean i was a failure or couldnt try nursing again. I am so glad i am able to breastfeed my second child, but I am glad that i tried with my first too and that i was able to EP for him.
April 19th, 2011 at 2:36 pm
I had problems nursing my first child and gave up after two weeks. When my second child was born I swore I’d do it this time, and I did, but I had a lot of problems. She ended up nursing for 2 years, but it was through 4 bouts of mastitis and at the age of 3weeks she would scream at the breast. The LC tried me on a special diet (which I am not sure it worked, I think she grew out of it). But now I am expecting our third child and I am really trying to decide if I should try nursing or exclusively pump. I am all for the benefits to both mom and baby with nursing, but I need more info. I agree with previous comments about when you have troubles, the nurses and LC blame you for not getting the baby to latch proporly and so on, but sometimes, there are just issues that you cant control.
June 7th, 2011 at 6:40 am
Hi.. My 1st baby could not nurse effectively, couldn’t remove very rich hind milk and I had to pump after each nursing session and supplemented her with this milk for the first 5 months. After 5 months everything was great and nursed until 2 yrs. With my 2nd one everything started off great. Sucked great 10 min after delivery, nursed beautifully for about 3.5 weeks. Then she started taking in less and less milk. She had severe silent reflux which took doctors until 2.5 months of age to figure out. In the mean time they misdiagnosed and said she has pnemonia, put her on antibiotics. They also gave her Rotavirus shot 3rd day of antibiotics. Terrible mistake! I took her to a different doc at 5 days of (10 day course antibiotics) antibiotics. I was told she did NOT have pnemonia so they took her off the antobiotics. By that time she had developed worst diaper rash. Because of the antibiotic and Rotavirus shot combination she went through what’s called Dysbiosis (imbalance of good and bad bacteria in the gut) and Leaky Gut. These led to secondary intolerances so by 2 months of age my baby could not even tolerate my milk even though at thatpoint I was off dairy, soy, nuts, wheat, and you name it. They made me (literally made me)stop giving my daughter my milk. I kept pumping my milk. I tried to start back 3 times, fighting with the docs each time. My baby was finally ready to take my milk again at around 3.5 months. Even though I managed to get her latched on first 2 times I started back up but the 3rd time she refused my breast! I visited lactation consultants maybe about 25 times. We tried everything and she would not take breast again. She will be almost 9 months now and I have been pumping exclusively. I spoke to a very well know GI doctor last week and I was told that she is under risk for future illnesses because her immune system could not develop properly and that babies immune system develops until 2-3 years of age and what ever I can do until then will determine if she will be a healthy girl all her life. So the verdict is I have to give my girl breast milk for at least
until 2 years of age, she will be on very high dose probiotic treatment and so will I. We hope everything will work out as planned. This has been a very rough journey anfd if it hand’t been for everything I learned about bf with my 1st child, I couldn’t have made the decisions I made with the 2nd one. I know that my story could help many others.. A- trust your mother instincts (not the docs in my case) B- breastmilk is the best nutrition for your baby, do not let anybody make you believe otherwise. The problems we had wasn’t due to my milk..it was due to leaky gut problem the doctors created!!! Do not just assume doctors should know what they are doing because obviously in my case more than 1 doctor made serious mistakes that could have lasted a lifetime for my baby! Sorry this was too long…..I think I really needed to get it off my system! Good luck with your book.
August 8th, 2011 at 6:25 am
What a great book idea! Oh how I wish I had read these stories a few months ago. I EP for 7 months with my little baby, as he had latching issues due to being in NICU for 3 weeks and having got use to the flow of the bottle. So my let down never came quick enough. I tried everything, lactation consultants (oh so many) I even did rebirthing. Which helped for a day or two. Decided when he was around 4 months that as long as it was breast milk he was having, there was no problems EP, and since then we both relaxed.
I would have loved to have had a book like your to refer to and find support in.
Good luck with the book
October 12th, 2011 at 12:17 am
I actually have been looking for a book like the one you describe! After weighing my son, an LC informed me that he was not recieving even a full ounce of milk by breast (latched properly under her supervision and all) and we decided it was best, due to his severe dehydration, to bottle feed to make sure how much he was getting. I never could pump more an one oz. of milk at a time, never felt “engorged” no matter how many hours went by, and whatever i produced never satisfied my thirsty child.
Yet he was also severely allergic to formula, so i was going out of my mind to figure out ways to increase my supply, pumping practically 24/7 and stressing myself until my breasts completely quit after 5 months. My LC was proud of my valiant attempts but I felt like a failure.
I really am determined to EBF (or pump when I return to work) this time around when #2 arrives (in Dec!), but I wonder and worry about whether or not my breasts will malfunction and/or quit on me like before. I don’t know how things will go the second time around, but it would truly help my confidence if i read about people who tried and failed and tried again with another child and was successful! Good luck on your book!